I had the same addiction to incense. I got hooked on it because of the fancy term “legal weed.” Smoking marijuana was illegal back then, and on top of it, my body cannot consume alcohol.
So smoking incense sounded a perfect option for me. I was a functioning addict except for a couple of occasions to call in sick for work to get high. The intensity of high was what I enjoyed and made me productive to do tedious stuff that I would drag my feet doing it.
But as time went by, I built up a tolerance, and I wanted more and more. I would get furiously mad at my spouse if he smoked it without me or smoked the last hit.
We would argue for nothing and makeup and then smoke some more and be content. At that time, we were struggling a lot, and incense seemed a way to forget about struggles and live in our own bubble contently.
We would get sick from smoking incense usually one would get sick and the other wouldn’t (ex. hallucination, extreme sweating, feeling sick which made us look green, feeling extremely paranoid)
One time, my spouse got ill and puked up, and I was laughing at him (I don’t remember this part, but my spouse asked me why I was laughing at him when he was so sick) it scared the shit out of me.
At some point, it seemed like we were coexisting to smoke. We stopped doing anything that we used to enjoy together but spent all the money to indulge our habits.
We tried to quit smoking, but it was tough. All we focused on was how we wanted to smoke just one hit. We were so depressed. Life seemed meaningless. All the little things that I used to appreciate meant nothing to me at that time. So we relapsed.
One day I called in sick at work, and binge smoked all day, and I blacked out. I woke up finding myself on the floor, and my ear was torn and bleeding. I must have fallen and hit my head on something. That’s when I realized I need to quit.
However, when you have another person that shares the same addiction with, it becomes tough to find the perfect timing to quit. It went like when I was ready to quit, but he wasn’t and vice versa. So the battle went on for about three years.
Finally, we both realized that we would die if we kept on like this. We were dancing on the verge of death. I couldn’t even remember what it is like to feel alive and was so desperate to live again. We knew its nearly impossible to quit it going cold turkey due to our mental state back then.
So we bought weed and smoked it instead of incense. We both didn’t enjoy the high from weed and craved the high of incense. However, we stuck to only weed for two weeks. And I started working out simultaneously.
During the first two weeks, my head started to become clear more and more. And I began to know what it feels like to be alive and to appreciate and recognize things that I neglected throughout addiction.
And when we reached the point that we don’t even crave for incense, we stopped smoking weed. Surprisingly with weed, we could stop like cold turkey. Didn’t also feel like
We needed to smoke unlike incense (with incense, you’d have a feeling that you have to smoke and the more you smoke, the more you feel like you have smoked)
Anyway, it’s been three years that we stay sober from incense. Looking back, we appreciate how weed helped us get through our addiction and how scary and destructive incense addiction can be.
Even though the whole process of addiction gave us deep insights into who we are and our life, we never want to take that downhill EVER. It was a painful lesson.
If you are struggling with incense addiction, please know that you are not alone and you can recover because we did. Remember one day at a time and life has so much more to offer than what you perceive of it.
My heart goes out to you.