When synthetic marijuana surfaced in my area, it was in the early days. Nobody knew what it was and it certainly hadn’t made any name for itself.
I tried it for the same reason a lot of people do – it was legal (or, not illegal).
My wife and I smoked it when we couldn’t get marijuana, and at first it was only occasionally.
We didn’t even really like it that much to start with. It was too intense and disorienting.
That changed after a while, and it seemed to mellow out to something manageable and enjoyable.
I didn’t recognize the fact that the apparent mellowing was a result of starting to build a resistance – one of the first signs of addiction.
We realized that we were spending way too much money buying it at the gas station, and being a resourceful individual, I discovered how it was made and where to procure the chemicals and plant material to make it.
This was the beginning of the end.
The chemicals were cheap and with our resistance climbing, we were smoking a home made version that was five to ten times stronger than what was sold in the gas station, and at the price, had a virtually unlimited supply.
It got so bad that we spent pretty much an entire year sitting at the kitchen table, all hours of the day and night, staring at a screen with a never-ending Youtube playlist and smoking synthetic marijuana.
We skipped meals.
We woke up several times in the middle of the night to re-medicate.
When we were sitting at the table, we would take a hit, nod off, come back, figure out where we were and repeat the process.
It was like doing heroin.
Thousands of dollars and over a year later, we were miserable, irritable and pretty much insane.
The last day that we smoked any synthetic marijuana, I was sitting at the kitchen table and my wife was throwing up in the toilet from the synthetics.
We were out and waiting for the next batch of the chemicals to come in so we could make more.
We were both crying uncontrollably while we discussed whether to walk through the 10 inches of snow to the post office to see if our package had made it.
Then my wife said the magic words.
You might think that it seems strange that this is what started us on the road to letting go, but it allowed us to make the most important choice ever.
My wife looked at me while we cried, and said “Can we just go buy a bag of weed?”
That doesn’t really seem appropriate, but when you’re dealing with something that scary, it was probably the sanest thing either one of us could have said. I agreed.
We got some marijuana, and although it didn’t do anything perceptible to us, the act of smoking it, along with the flood of cannabinoids kept us even enough over the course of a few months that we didn’t go get any synthetics.
This is now two years later, and we are free of addiction.
We no longer smoke anything.
Good luck to those still trying. It does get easier.
Oddly enough, although it is not overpowering, and I know that it would ruin my life and the experience is miserable, I miss it now and then.
It’s just enough to remind me how dangerous it and other drugs really are.