First of all, I would like to start my story by saying if it weren’t for this website, along with other research, I would almost certainly be still smoking spice despite what it was physically making me go through.
When dealing with drugs lack of research/knowledge could (like I found out harshly) end up having one of the worst effects on your life.
I started smoking weed, the standard stuff, at age 15/16 on and off, probably two spliffs a week by the age of 16. When I grew older, I started to build up my tolerance. My friends and I would have weed everywhere we go, and it was lovely.
I have nothing against this synthetic pot as long as you are smoking a controlled amount, not going too hard as I have heard a lot that was even smoking too much cannabis could give you paranoia and schizophrenia in the long run.
At the age of 18, my cousin told me about this flavor of some kind that would get you high off a ‘shisha pen’ or ‘e vape’ liquid called CBD. Now as a regular weed smoker, there was no way that I believed that some flimsy 10ml bottle of e-liquid would get me stoned.
So he showed me the stuff and told me to take it slowly and see how it goes. One rip in, nothing happens. 2 rips in, nothing happens, so I tell my cousin to take the vape.
My cousin takes three tokes of this vape liquid, and while he is doing it, the high has crept up on me, and without realizing it I felt great, it sounds weird, but it’s like you aren’t directly aware of your high level like with a joint.
This is more subtle so you could think you aren’t high, but actually, your body may just be getting rolling. That is why so many people can find it easy to do too much in one go. Well, anyways, my cousin and I continue chilling, playing games listening to music, etc. and it’s lovely a great feeling and mood.
So after time goes on, I develop an interest in this stuff and like an idiot, go to buy a vape without having any knowledge of what I was getting.
I bought my vape in around May 2016 and started smoking ‘CBD e-liquid’ that I could buy from my local vape store. Now, this seemed convenient, and I would be getting high in public, and nobody would notice.
I would open my room window and vape an odorless drug for hours. It started off very normal in the first few months, using this new e-liquid as a replacement for weed.
I would end up spending less than a quarter of the money I spent on weed on this CBD e-liquid. Everything about this product was so appealing to me; it was cheaper, more discreet, more accessible, etc.
I would smoke this shit every day, not sober for 1 second of being awake. Even when I would go to a restaurant, I would even go into the toilets and smoke.
However, it wasn’t till about 5 or so months of smoking this into it that I had an eye-opener.
So I told my friend about this, I was exciting it up saying how it was a real buzz, etc. So I met my friend to let him try it out and vape with me. I show him how to do it and model how long he should inhale for and burn it.
He didn’t listen, like an idiot, this guy holds down the fire up button on my vape and takes a fat rip, probably a 6 second inhale, and my usual hits are like 1 or 2 seconds. This guy just did 3x what a guy whos been smoking this for months in his first ever hit.
I then snatch the vape out of his hand and tell him off for not listening to me. So we continue sitting down, and I’m just wondering how he’s going to react to it, and in the first 5 or so mins, it was all fine.
Talking laughing etc., just being high, as you do. Then all of a sudden my friend looks at me all pale-eyed and starts slipping off the chair all weirdly as if he had no control.
Because we were bantering etc. and we’re quite jokey people I thought he was goofing around until he tried to stand up then almost dropped to the floor. I was horrified and quickly grabbed him.
He started sweating and looking at the floor as if he was alive but had no control or awareness of anything. I would repeatedly slap his face and try moving him around to get some movement from him, but still no response.
He clenched up to vomit, but nothing but gooey spit came out. Now, this is the worst part. I had tried to make him drink some water, putting the bottle in his mouth, aiding him with drinking but he wouldn’t drink.
He would bite the bottle cap with such strength that he took it out of my hand and was holding it with his mouth water would just be overflowing out his mouth all over his clothes. He looked like a zombie at this point, and I was petrified.
What have I done??? I hated every single moment of that, and I was okay. I felt like it was me who had done this to him. I caused this guy, my friend, to bug out.
This just got me thinking what the actual fuck I was smoking, so I began to do a bit of research. By this point, I was already way into this, and my tolerance had built up also.
No longer two rips for a 45 min high, I would be smoking whenever I felt the slightest bit sober. After searching what CBD is I found out that CBD doesn’t have anywhere near enough THC to get you high.
This was not adding up. So I did research and found other products on the web like ‘just chill’ or ‘Ibiza dream,’ where you could buy a lot more of this stuff for cheaper than I was getting it.
I then started to search for some of the symptoms of spice, including hot flushes, anger mood swings, sleep-spice dependency. All of my worst fears would then definitely be confirmed. It was a spice / k2 blend.
That same day, I went to my local river, to throw my vape pen in there along with anything about this. On my way to the river, I feel extremely nauseated as if there is a demon inside me trying to do everything he can to stop me from doing this.
I then took another hit just to calm the symptoms down till I get this done and get home in time before they kick in again.
I’m now at home after getting rid of all my gear, and this is probably in fact scrap that, without a doubt the worst I am feeling. Personality wise, I am not one to show emotion or cry, I’d rather does something like work out or get my mind off it.
I was so depressed in my room for that whole day crying thinking I almost poisoned my friend, all I could think about was my next hit.
About 2 hours into no vape life, I find myself rushing to the toilet to vomit out something orange stuff while receiving crazy hot flushes in my body, and extreme, suicidal thoughts.
I wasn’t thinking right, and this drug had consumed my brain. All I wanted to take a 15-second rip and fly to heaven. I couldn’t sleep for days, had to change my bed sheets about five times in 3 days because the amount would sweat and ZERO appetite.
The sight, smell, and thought of food would just remind me that my stomach is empty and what does this do? Incite more cravings for CBD.
After 4 hours of sitting on my bathroom floor spewing out everything in my body, I felt a little bit composed.
I go to my room and start praying to god, begging for strength to help me get through this. Prayer after prayer in the mirror, I would look at myself and feel disgusted.
I’m not the vein, but my mindset is by far powerful, and I have extremely high morals, especially on drug abuse, and when something is wrong, I will do anything and everything to make it right. You are stronger than any substance on Earth!!!!!!
The decision to quit cold turkey (All at once, no detox) was probably the most difficult one but without a doubt the correct one.
Same way how you start smoking from not smoking, you can flip it on its head. Throughout my journey of quitting, I couldn’t even explain to you with words how badly I wanted to relapse; I kept my chin up as high as I can, but being attacked from the inside was the hardest battle of my life so far.
Once the symptoms go away, you still crave it, but you have a much greater degree of control over the cravings.
I think, in a way, I am lucky only to have smoked the e-liquid, which I am almost certain is less potent than the actual leaf stuff that is sold in smoke shops. I have seen the effects of spice previously on people in and was not a stranger to the dangers car.
It could have helped my withdrawal or not, but what the most important thing is that if you need help, you get it. Do not ignore this situation, and if anybody is here reading has been tricked into vaping spice like me, and my cousin has, please do not get started.
You will feel shitty for the first 3-5 days, like really shitty, but you just have power through it, try to keep yourself busy and keep your mind occupied. Surround yourself with love, and I know you can get through this.
Put your soul and heart into it, and I promise you spice will not defeat you. I did it at 19, and it just motivated me to conquer anything I want in life now, if I can quit spice then I can do anything. It needs to come from within you to stop smoking.
Feel free to ask any advice or any questions and concerns. If you have any family members suffering from spice addiction or spice withdrawal please just take a week off work and stay home with that person.
As a sober person you need to do everything possible to help, you don’t know what battle that person is fighting so stay supportive at all times. I did this with no help, no medication, just me.
I wouldn’t advise a ‘quit cold turkey’ method of going sober if you have been consuming spice for many years at high amounts. However, realistically, the most difficult way of quitting is always the most realistic.
The reason I chose to not detox and reduce my intake slowly then eliminate is that you are still feeding that habit. I have heard stories of people who have tried to use things like Benadryl or other prescribed sedatives to help with insomnia and other symptoms, but you may also develop a psychological dependence on these, so that’s why I chose the method I did.
If you are a spice/k2 consumer reading this, your journey to recovery should start as soon as you finish reading this because every second on that shit is a second you’re fucking up your life. Please, let’s do this together, you can do it!
(A few personal notes)
- found the first three days the hardest
- In one week, I slept about 20 hours in total, felt even worse due to lack of eating
- First day sober ate one grape and a glass of water all day
- The second day soberly ate one apple and half a slice of toast, which I then vomited it out
- The third day, one slice of chocolate spread with a glass of cranberry juice.
Your body will reject food for days, but you need to force yourself, even if you feel nauseous, force yourself to eat some food. If you spew it out, don’t worry, brush your teeth and try again in an hour.
Thank you for reading my script, sorry it’s a bit long, but hey if it helps people.