Ive been addicted to a drug of some sort since i was 13, started out innocent enough hitting a joint of MJ with the neighbors, to getting drunk as a freshman with all the seniors to fit in at school and be the cool kid. Pills came next and then the shit hit the fan when i discovered cocaine. Long story short, ive experimented with every drug i know of short of crack, and heroin. The way spice changes you as a person is by far the worst.
Im from alabama and it is illegal here, has been for about 2 years or so now. Gas stations still sell it to people they know and those people distribute it to users like me who dont have the connection. I started out just a few times a week while it was still legal. It progressed to the point of being able to smoke a 10g bag of devil eye in one afternoon. My wife, who was at the time pregnant with our second son, left me and took our oldest who was only 1 at the time. I lied to her constantly while we were separated and smoked nearly the whole time. Bank account went dry, I emptied my sons piggy bank and pawned sentimental things my wife had bought me, even stole from work and my own mother. I broke into my neighbors shop and stole hundreds of dollars worth of tools just to pawn them and barely get enough money to get a sack that would maybe last me the night.
The one thing that went beyond all the things i did to fuel my habit was the dedication i had to getting high. I passed out on way home from work, flipped my jeep 7 times at 75 mph down middle of the highway with no seat belt and woke up without a scratch only to feel in my pockets for my sack. I didnt care that i could have killed or injured other motorist or even killed myself. I just wanted to cops to hurry and leave so i could get high.
I finally kicked the habit, my wife and kids came back to me and everything was great. This was a year ago and here I find myself 4 days sober from the same shit that should have been the end of me. I have been smoking again for about 2 months now. I work in a factory and Id slip outside to my car every chance i got to get high and i knew that people at work could tell, i just didnt care. When at home id go outside for a cig and sneak a few hits in and pass out only to wake up to the sound of my wife approaching or opening the door and id scramble to hide it. Well she eventually caught me and we decided it was time for me to get help. I got all the typical symptoms, sweating, vomiting, cant sleep through the night. My wife is supportive of my recovery and i want nothing more than to set the right example for my sons and be a good husband and father.
To ANYONE who is smoking this or is thinking about it, it WILL beat you in the end. I promise. Thank you so much for putting up this site. It is so so so helpful to see that im not the only one who this drug has had taken complete and total control of their lives. I hope these next few days of detox are manageable, some times i just want to break down and cry. Keep me in your prayers.
Richard P, 22, AL