Hello everyone, I am currently 21 years old and attending college; this is the horrible story of my seven-month addiction to the disgusting chemical spice. If you ever feel compelled to try spice, please remember my story and all the other stories.
It will impact your entire life even if it seems harmless at first glance. If you feel the drive to do spice, smoke weed. I apologize this post is so long, but this is only a fraction of what I have to say about my experience. I am not sure if this site allows replies, but I want to remain anonymous, so I won’t put my email – if it does I would be happy to give support or answer questions for others.
I started smoking spice in 2013, sophomore year of high school. I started because my parents were drug testing me for marijuana and began with the OMG and LOL strains which are standard strength from gas stations (still about ten times stronger than weed).
It was mostly pleasant besides one or two scary experiences and a friend (who I was with) waking up with a shower current wrapped around his neck naked. Then I developed a tolerance and began buying a stronger strain; I believe it was the strain 7H after some research.
This was when my addiction started. Generally, it takes one small hit of 7H (if this was the correct one) to get about 20 times higher than weed, with a different effect. As I used it, I began testing my limits smoking first 2, then 4, then seven hits, and at the peak of my addiction 16 hits which are about two bowls.
The effects of this strain are similar to DMT but believe it or not even stronger. The difference is that instead of feeling magical like from DMT, you feel as if you are doing something evil, that you don’t belong in that world, and become extraordinarily overwhelmed and terrified if that being “notices” you.
Although some reports say it is not addicting, it is. About a month into my use, I was smoking two to three times a day and couldn’t get through a day of school without going to the restroom. Taking out my Altoid container that had a hollowed out Sharpie tube lined with tinfoil, and taking hits that I blew into a balloon that had dryer sheets in it.
About two months into my addiction, I developed a trend in my high that consisted of a few distinct voices/ personas that talked to me each time: an army drill sergeant that belittled me and made me exercise and clean.
While I was high (95% of the time), a whispering that questioned why I do what I do (40% of the time), and a sensual voice (40% of the time) that either was loving or lovingly told me to hurt myself which brought me to try and drown myself on one occasion and cut/bruise myself multiple times (I still have scars on my legs that say “FU”, an “X”, and a “?”).
For the next five months of my addiction (7 months total) I used K2 in my bathroom, blowing it into the fan, 3-6 times a day. About every fifteen highs I would have a negative, scary, and emotionally damaging experience which comes out to about once every three days; and about once every week and a half I would have a horrifying and life-long damaging experience which I will explain later.
During my use, I became depressed, suicidal, angry, anti-social, and extremely tired. My kidneys began to ache, and my lungs burned. I could feel that I was becoming psychotic, paranoid, and constantly felt as if I was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
For the good highs, I would ignore the drill sergeant trying to belittle me and instead pick random objects that I would interact with in my hallucinations. For example, a rubber duck would climb up the walls and make jokes (audibly), marbles that changed the size and created games, and string that would make beautiful and fun shapes.
For the negative trips, the drill sergeant would be extremely loud and not just in my head, but audibly, he would tell me I’m “a failure,” “a disappointment,” “pathetic,” “weak,” “ugly,” etc. He would drive me to exercise excessively during my high, but with these harmful highs, I was often able to close my eyes not to see the scary hallucinations and sit in the shower until it passed considering the high lasts a maximum of thirty minutes (which feels like hours).
The horrifying trips were not able to be ignored and have left permanent trauma in my life. One trip in particular, in which there was ten traumatizing trips total, that I recall distinctly and makes me shake even writing this caused me to fall off the counter (which I stood on to blow smoke into the fan) and hit my head on the door.
Once I was on the ground, I couldn’t stand, and so the drill sergeant compared me to a dog. I crawled to the shower, and war drums loudly started, and the shower water fell in painful patterns. I had what I believe was a seizure and was coaxed into covering the shower drain and try to drown myself. I almost went unconscious with my face in the water but managed to crawl out of the shower.
When I lifted myself to look into the mirror, I first saw a homeless man with a beard and ragged clothes and was told that is my future. It was not a vague vision but as if there wasn’t a mirror and I was looking at a homeless man across the counter.
The man grew horns from his head, and I stared frozen as he turned red and turned into a vivid demon, the demon smiled at me and I passed out. When I woke up, my dad was calling for me at the door, and there was blood coming out of my mouth.
Despite this experience, I smoked later that night, just more carefully. I hope this explains just how addictive this drug is. I quit cold turkey after seven months because my parents found my spice and put me into extreme grounding – they still don’t know just how bad it was.
The withdrawals were extraordinarily intense both mentally and physically. I was severely depressed and came very close to suicide three times. I became nauseous and vomited most days, had no appetite for weeks, had no motivation, my whole body shook and was sore, I had hot and cold flashes and was continually thinking of the drug.
As for long-term effects, it has now been five years, and I still have kidney problems/pain, my brain has changed – I have much worse memory, and I think I had potential to be much smarter if it wasn’t for the brain damage it caused. I still think about spice about twice a week because mental addiction is permanent.
Your brain makes you forget you ever had a problem despite all you went through, and you feel compelled to try it again but in moderation. Numerous occasions I have been typing in my credit card number to purchase spice online before realizing what I’m doing and breaking down emotionally.
If you want to try spice, read these stories, it is not a joke. If you are currently addicted, seek help immediately, each time will add to your addiction and health problems.