Like others here, I smoked spice for years, 4.5 in total. I have been diagnosed with depression and severe OCD since a young teenager and took spice as an alternative to weed, for the only reason I didn’t want to be caught by the cops in a drug test while driving.
I found when I smoked, my depression and OCD was eliminated (well in hindsight it was still there, but my mind couldn’t process this on spice). Over time, I became more addicted, required 3 grams every night and while I was earning good money, $50 a day was resulting in always breaking even and not making any money to enjoy life, except buying more spice.
I quit several times for a week or 2 at a time, but my depression and OCD meant I would always return. I never addressed this with a professional, who would be normal in hindsight and once the high came off, I would get more depressed and ritualize over OCD thoughts.
In 2016, I had a mental breakdown just because of spice, but it’s taken another year to get off it. While I came extremely close to suicide (tiptoes over an edge of a 30 story building), I returned to it in 2017.
Last month I stepped in front of a moving train but the thought of leaving my parents in that way was too much to handle, and I moved in time to not be killed.
It’s incredibly addictive, but I’ve found the best approach is to fill your time other ways. I love cinemas, film, food, alcohol in moderation, music, and gaming so I’ve surrounded myself with this. When the thought of spice comes to mind, I slap myself.
I smashed my bong (never rolled spice, always by bong) in a ritual like a printer in office space for those who have seen. Shit, it’s not easy, I’m not saying that at all but spice addiction is purely a mindset, your mind is driving the addiction, there is no physical compulsion, or at least for me.
It’s not till I understood this, stood in front of my mirror for an hour and knew I was losing my family and friends that I had to change.
I’ve lost a lot of friends I’ll never reunite with as I’ve broken their hearts in 5 years making promise after promise to catch up and bail at the last minute because I was high and always wanted to be along during this time. I’ve lived on my own for all these years smoking, so I didn’t have to hide it at home.
If there is anyone seeking help, please reach for assistance. You are healthy; you can beat it and will! Spice is not worth the price, addiction, loss you will experience. I believe in you that you can overcome it! Believe me; life’s better off it (from someone who has severe depression and OCD and possibly always will)