I’ve been a daily drug user since the age of 12. I’m almost 35 now. I’ve done everything except pop and DMT. I started with marijuana acid and ecstasy on nearly a daily basis as I grew up in my teen years. That lead to a slight cocaine addiction around the age of 19.
I quickly saw my problem and quit. I then became addicted to opiate pain pills and benzos. This whole time, of course, I’m smoking weed I loved the stuff. Opiates was a massive downfall for me and took me years to get off.
I’ve been off drugs for about 5 or 6 years now. I was shorter and eventually started snorting heroin.
Let me say that getting off that stuff was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. When spice came out, I was dumbfounded that people actually smoked it. One day I tried it. Instantly my nose mouth throat and lungs turned ice-cold, and I just laid on my bed, hoping I wasn’t dying.
I thought it was crazy, and I didn’t touch it again for a while. Then I got hooked up with people that were making it, and the high was different. I actually liked it. I started smoking spice daily, even at work.
Needless to say, I get in a little legal trouble and spend 18 months in prison. When I got out, I remained clean for over 2 years. I always thought about getting high as I’ve been an addict my whole life.
I found out my girlfriend at the time was smoking it. I was on probation and didn’t want it in our house. I fought over a month with her to quit, and one day I gave up. I was depressed and sad and told her I wanted to try it. This stuff was super duper powerful.
Not even a total hit, and we would all nod out. I couldn’t understand why it was so strong. I quickly got addicted to it. I started smoking it at work again.
One day on my lunch break, I went to my car and lit a spice joint. Next thing I remember, I’m at the hospital. I had flatlined 5 times. They hit me with Narcan adrenaline and the defibulator.
The doctor said the only thing that kept me alive was the breathing machine. I snapped out of that rather quickly lied and said I had people to get me. I walked back to work. It had to be over a 2-hour walk easily. I got in my car half a joint was on my seat.
I smoked it on the way home. I gave the rest of my money to my spice guy and gave up my house and relationship. I continued used smoking it secretly and ended up at my uncle’s house, sleeping and vomiting all over the wall.
They couldn’t get me to respond, so here I go to the hospital again. I’m sharing my story because I want everyone to know how crazy this stuff is. Well, I will be 100% with you and tell you I am still battling this addiction.
I’m high right now from resin. I’ve spent my last few months very detached from reality. The story I read says I detached from reality, and I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Spice has really messed with my view of the world. In the last few months, I’ve ruined every job lost so much weight, and I’m unfortunately depressed, and I cry daily.
Today I went to my grandma because I’ve been having thoughts of suicide. I am so tired of feeling this way I want it to stop. My heart will not stop racing. I don’t see the same visually.
I will hear lawnmowers at 3 am and people talking outside my window, and there is nothing there. I know this. I am brilliant regardless of my drug use, and as of right now, I am so lost it is not even funny. I really only go from super sad to super angry, or I feel nothing at all.
I know I’m very close to being off spice, but I am terrified because of the way I think. My mind tells me I have 2 options keep smoking spice or suicide. Deep down, I know this is not healthy thinking, and I honestly understand the right things to do.
I just can’t shake all this bad stuff, and there is no help that I’ve found. I hope, and I pray that one day I get back to normal, but I fear that I have permanently damaged myself.
I want to say I have committed suicide in the past before the spice, and so every time I feel that way, I immediately talk to someone for help. I never leave my room. I hate my family and friends, and it’s not them; it’s me.
Spice had utterly destroyed my reality and my life, and I’m not sure it’s reversible. I pray doctors to work on this as it’s only going to get worse for future generations. I thank you for sharing your story because now I know I am not alone.
The article I just read may have honestly saved my life. I don’t know, but I thank you for sharing your story. I will not give up, and again I want to thank you. If anyone relates to any of this, I want you to know you are not alone.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, but maybe a newer spice user reads this and stops. Thank you for letting me share my story and get a little of this off my chest.