My life is a series of good and bad decisions.
I have dabbled with drugs most of my early adult life into my late 20s (current age).
I primarily smoke marijuana but have taken pills (never any oxy or proxy), meth a couple times, extasy, mushrooms, cocaine, synthetic marijuana on a couple occasions with no adverse effects worth mentioning, but only weed on a regular basis.
My “spice” horror story begins with one stupid decision.
I stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere to use the bathroom.
I discover half a joint on the ground o9n my way back to my car.
I’ll keep it in mind that my 4-year-old child is with me.
I arrive home and my child was sleeping, so I placed my child inside on the couch undisturbed.
I think, okay I’ll smoke the herb while my kid is asleep.
I broke up the herb and put it into my bowl and go outside on my patio and proceed to take two small hits from my pipe.
Coming from someone who has ingested many drugs especially marijuana, I immediately feel that something is wrong.
Instantly my vision is spinning and my perception is warped.
I set down the pipe and make it inside unsteadily about 4 or 5 feet to my couch double recliner with armrest fixed in between) I sit down opposite the side of my sleeping child.
And at this point, my vision is really going wild.
Pitching and rolling, warping in and out.
My chest feels really tight my heart is beating super hard and fast like it could potentially explode, it’s hard to breathe and swallow.
Thoughts start racing through my head.
I just did some hard shit that was laced with something lethal.
I’m really going to die because I smoked a joint I found randomly.
It was left there on purpose, who would do something like this? How stupid can I be? I don’t want to die.
What’s going to happen to my child? The last thing, I consciously remember.
At some point, I become aware of traveling through “wormhole” unimaginable speeds, countless images all bleeding together, abrupt halts onto/into different times, experiences, memories and just as quickly off again.
I feel trapped in my mind and this ulterior universe/reality.
Every now and then I become aware of this dimension and sense my immobility.
No ability to move, no perception of time, no emotion, stoic, fixed before zooming off again.
Thoughts and ideas take different forms that I can only describe as lights and colors and shape changing masses and the sense of frantic and erratic movement or forces.
I went back to fundamental times in my life and could trace in entirety the adverse effects they had on my life.
How certain occurrences molded me and manifested in behaviors exhibited years later my life.
I would catch glimpses of my child in the reality and realize now my child was awake and crying and then I’d zoom off again to somewhere my child wasn’t present.
My relationship with my child would change.
One moment they were there and the next gone, I’d sense their presence and be impartial, who is this?
Why are they here? The next moment I’d sense the depth of our bond and realize they were crying and needing me and I’d try with everything I had to stay in this reality and be there for them and whoosh, gone again.
At some point, I become aware of being in a fixed position feeling unable to move and aware my child has reached their arm across the armrest out towards me.
I want to reach out and reassuringly touch my child.
I have to focus and try really hard to make the small arm movement where I manage to touch my child’s arm and am surprised by my inability to feel the touch.
I am also feeling very far away and alien to myself. Very surreal like this is all an illusion.
I manage to lay my head down on my child’s arm and awkwardly attempt to care the arm to reassure my child I’m there and everything’s okay.
I enter into another trip and am unsure how long but believe it to have been brief.
Same experience trapped in an alternate universe and unable to prove my perception wrong in accordance to everything I’ve ever understood and believed to be true.
I cannot figure out how to exit this dimension/reality or to switch back to “real” life.
I deem myself insane at some point in the ordeal and submit to this permanent state or unreal realness.
I recall crying out in frustration that it’s all happening too fast for me to make sense of what’s happening or where I am.
I do not know of I actually cried out or if it was only mental, as I am unaware of what if anything carried over to actual physical response.
I come back to again focusing on my child.
I apologize repeatedly and promise never again will they bear witness to something of this nature.
(I do not have conscious recollection of what was physically happening to my body although belief that I was in a catatonic state and was unresponsive to my child) I have no recollection of this conversation with my child ending just again becoming aware of having entered into another trip.
Same premise. Also, brief I believe and lessening in intensity.
I again come back to my reality most familiar and believed to be true and start to reassure myself I’m okay and struggle with my vision blurring, skewing, and going back and forth between two and three dimensional.
I believe two hours to have passed since I smoked the substance.
I start to feel nausea and throw up several times until I’m only dry heaving which continues for about 3 minutes.
I feel tired and foggy, unable to account for lost time.
I experienced the most terrorizing and bizarre experience of my life.
It was not until I started doing research the next day that I believed to know that the substance was not cheap weed laced with some trippy shit but in fact k2, synthetic marijuana.
I have never experienced anything more real and scary in my entire life.
And I will never venture back down the rabbit hole.
I strongly urge anyone reading this to avoid any type of synthetic marijuana and to not ingest any random ass shit they find laying around.