MY FIRST TIME TAKING LEGAL HIGH
I went to visit my friend at his hotel room when.
I arrived there he told me he had 3 drawers full of legal drugs there weren’t just smokable legal highs – there were pills, sniff and acid.
The only thing to go through my mind was they made drugs that are legal – they can’t be that bad for you. Otherwise, the government would have banned it.
How wrong I was.
I started by taking 2 pills, then went on to do 16 1/4 gram lines of sniff and a few blunts of the mamba.
I felt like I was better than everyone else. I felt like a king.
I thought it was the best day of my life, and then my mate prepared a bong of the mamba and added a black liquid to it.
I had half the bong and knew I couldn’t take no more, but I couldn’t move or talk.
The next thing I remember was looking at my self close to death.
I literally had an out of body experience which I didn’t expect, being an atheist.
And it scared the shit out of me.
When I came around, my mates told me it was like I was possessed by the devil.
They told me I started screaming at a sink for half an hour just before going after one of them, shouting, “I’m gunna kill you you fucking terrorist!”.
WHY I GOT ADDICTED TO SPICE
I was young and lost to the world, as I only started having a proper life at 16.
This is when I started, and it scared me.
My whole life I was told if you are scared of something, the only way to get over it is to face your fears – so that’s what I did.
(THIS IS NO EXCUSE, LIKE I SAID, I WAS STUPID)
It scared me for about a month, smoking everyday, until I got over the fear – but then I was addicted.
HOW I SUPPORTED MY HABIT
Without sounding big headed, I used to be a real man who thought of others before himself.
But that changed, after I got addicted.
I showed my best friend the legal high, and he started showing his mates.
For 2 years, I would smoke their legals.
But they got addicted then managed to quit it, before turning in to a feign for it like I did.
Then for the next two years, it got harder to get, as my mates didn’t smoke it and I had no income whatsoever.
But they clocked on to what I was doing, so I started shoplifting.
HOW I REALIZED I HAD A PROBLEM
My dad is an alcoholic and spends all his money on beer, so he has no money for anything else. He lives on the street, and my whole life I was determined I would end up nothing like him.
But smoking legals, I would walk around in torn clothes because I spent every penny I got from shoplifting on legal highs.
One day, I was sitting on a step in town talking to some guy, and from nowhere, I froze and stared thinking to my self, “what the hell are you doing? you get your life sorted!”
And then I ran to talk to a mate, and talking about it I realized I’m turning into everything I hate.
Then I had my first ever panic attack, I thought my heart was going to explode.
That’s when I tried to seek help.
GETTING OFF LEGAL
Getting of legal high is probably one of the most horrible things that’s happen in my life, and I’ve had it rough.
At the moment, I am getting support from an organization called CDJT (UK) who helps people who want to give up drugs or alcohol.
I have to say, it’s a lot easier than doing it alone because being off the legal high got me depressed. I was alone with my thoughts, thinking I am useless, why am I here, I want out, no one cares about me and I don’t wanna be alive no more.
Also, anything that annoyed me I would flip out so bad – I would punch my self in the face so hard I have broken my hand, on my face!
At the moment, I have been off it for 2 months.
After 4 years of being on legal highs, I am slowly getting back to my old self. The kind, respectful loving man I used to be.
I still get the urge to go out and get a gram, but then I think of what I turned into, how far I have come and how disappointed not only me but my family will be if I started again.
So far, these thoughts and CDJT are helping.
I haven’t relapsed, and I will make sure I never do.