I started smoking Spice because my job prohibited me from smoking real marijuana.
I am a teacher–a high school Biology teacher.
I am 32 years old, and I’m a very intelligent, well-educated individual.
I had no idea what I was getting into when I started smoking the stuff…
Marijuana was more of a medicine to me.
I had a drinking problem for some time, and weed helped keep me from the bottle.
I used it once or twice a day to calm my anxiety.
I could go days or weeks without it, and it was no big deal.
Once I got hired as a teacher, I didn’t want to risk my job by smoking the real stuff anymore.
Like a lot of people, I heard Spice got you high but wouldn’t show up on a drug test, so I decided to try it out.
At first, one or two hits would get me super stoned, and the high would last for a while.
I thought it was great.
I used it pretty sparingly, like I did with weed.
Sometimes, the high was so intense that it scared me a little bit.
After a while, my tolerance started to build up. The high would go away after 15-20 minutes, and I would feel the urge to smoke more.
I started to use it compulsively, and I became more interested in smoking Spice than doing anything else.
I stopped talking to and hanging out with my friends. I didn’t want anyone to know I was doing it, so I isolated at home.
I started smoking it more and more.
It got to the point where I didn’t like to leave my house. I just wanted to stay inside and get high.
I started spending more and more money on the stuff.
Within a matter of months, I went from smoking a gram a day to five or six grams a day.
Pretty much the only reason I left my house aside from work was to go buy more Spice.
I would go into panic mode if i couldn’t get it for some reason.
I didn’t even realize it was taking over my life for quite a while.
A lot of times when I got high, I would start to think that what I was doing was wrong and I really needed to stop, but the feeling would go away after a short while.
I deluded myself into thinking it wasn’t that bad because “at least I wasn’t drinking.”
It got to the point where I couldn’t even sleep through the night. I would wake up soaked in sweat and have to smoke some and then fall back asleep.
Work was really hard.
I would chain-smoke Spice up until the time I had to leave for school, and often I would leave on my break to go smoke some more.
I felt full of fear and anxiety when I was at work without it.
All I could think about was getting home to smoke some more.
I’d light some up as soon as I got home, and I would do nothing but sit on my couch and smoke and watch TV mindlessly until I passed out.
After more than a year of this, my health and my finances really started to fall apart.
I had practically stopped eating, because all my money went to Spice. I was severely underweight.
I was getting behind in my bills.
My teeth constantly hurt, and every time I took a shit there was blood on the toilet paper.
Still, I deluded myself into thinking it wasn’t that bad.
I was insane!
I don’t know what it was that really inspired me to quit one day; I can only say it was an act of God.
I finally decided enough was enough, and I needed to get some help.
Every time I told myself I was going to stop, I’d end up getting more. I just couldn’t do it.
I felt incredibly awkward, because I was addicted to “fake weed,” and I couldn’t imagine anyone else being addicted to something so ridiculous, but I knew I needed to try something.
I was lucky and met another Spice addict at my second meeting.
She told me what she went through when she quit and how hard it was, and that helped me so much to know that another person had gone through what I was going through, but they had succeeded!
That’s why I’m writing my story here now.
YOU CAN QUIT IF YOU WANT TO!
Meeting that fellow addict and jumping into the program of Narcotics Anonymous has saved my life.
I really think I would have died if I had kept on doing what I was doing!
The physical withdrawal was horrible for a few days, but after about 4 days I could finally stomach food again, and I started to gain some hope!
IT DOES GET BETTER!
It took longer for my brain to get back to normal.
It’s totally worth it, though.
Today I have my life back!!
I have freedom from this evil substance that once enslaved me, and it’s the best feeling in the world!
I have been clean for months now, and I still think about it.
They say in NA that addiction is “a cunning enemy of life,” and that is so true.
Whenever I think about it or think that “I could do it just once,” I remember how horrible it was when I was addicted and how horrible the withdrawal was.
I don’t ever want to go through that again.
Today, my mind is calm and I am full of peace again. I am happy, joyous, and free.
I don’t think I would feel this way if it weren’t for the help of NA and the people I met there, so I really suggest that to anyone who is struggling.
Thanks for reading my story, and I hope this might help another addict like myself to get clean.
RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE!!!!
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