About 4 months ago, in early July, I decided it would be a fun idea to smoke weed with a friend at his house. I don’t know what type of weed it was. All I knew is that it was his moms. I originally wasn’t going to his house for the night because I was having bad sinus headaches and I was taking paracetamol to take the edge off the pain. I also remember I had some sort of cold/ a sore throat or stuffy nose.
But I promised my friend that I would go. It was fun and all until I came up with the idea to Smoke Weed at around 11pm at night. I was new to it and had only taken one puff rarely in the past, and that would’ve been it, but this time I had way too much, like way too much. I didn’t know what it felt like to get high and how it all goes, I didn’t know that smoking weed could turn into something negative.
All I knew is that it relaxes you and makes you laugh or become hungry and that’s what I was expecting from it. But when I finished taking all of those puffs, I started feeling like my brain stopped functioning if that makes sense and that I was in a sleeping state. I remember just staring out, and my friend started saying my name loudly, and that’s when I started to freak out slowly.
I noticed that I didn’t feel right at all, everything was so slow when I moved and it felt like everything was getting smaller. I was spacing out/zooming in again if that makes any sense. and it was getting hard to hear. That’s when I started saying “Do I have a heart attack?” or “Am I having a seizure?” My friend didn’t exactly help me in any way or did not try calming me down with anything positive.
I started screaming and rang my mom she was baffled as it was like 12:00 am. All I was focused on is to get home. My friend started saying that I’ve had way too much and that I need to go to sleep. I suddenly snapped out of the high and made my way to the bedroom. I was on the phone with my Mom, and I was baffled and scared. Again my friend is also new to this, and he probably didn’t expect me to have a panic attack off of it.
After a little bit, I was saying “it’s happening again,” and this time it was surely worse than before. My friend was on the phone to my Mom (she was still confused) I was telling my mom to please come and pick me up. She was saying it’s really late. And she was yelling on the phone, my friend hung up on her, and that’s when I felt like I was blacking out. I literally said goodbye to my family thinking I was going to die.
I remember laying on my stomach as it happened to feel my heart basically beating out of my chest. When I somehow turned back onto my back, I was getting hot and cold flashes definitely a cold sweat, and I had a parched throat and mouth. I was drinking water that I had in the room it wasn’t working somehow. My legs were shaking, and I remember saying things without thinking.
I was asking my friend for an ambulance. I heard my friend’s brother say “just ignore her, turn off the light and go to sleep.” I still was high and experiencing what I said earlier. It did manage to calm down a bit, but I was still scared and confused. My friend completely ignored me and was sleeping.
I had no idea what I was saying to him, I’m pretty sure I said “Please Help Me Or Please Don’t Ignore Me” my face was all tingly and numb. I can’t remember if other certain parts of my body were tingling too. When I was trying to get up to meet my mom at the end of the drive, I stood up gathered my stuff and just stared at the floor, and I got scared again and laid back on the bed.
I was messaging my Mom really quickly and then turning it off because I still felt high and scared. In the end, I did get home, and the rest of the story is basically still me feeling high and going to sleep at home and my mom yelling at me she seemed really upset seeing me how I was. When I woke up the next morning, I started my morning normally as I would, I then realized I didn’t feel right at all.
I didn’t feel the same, I didn’t feel as connected as I was yesterday before what happened. I was confused, I looked up everything I was feeling. As days went by I started becoming less motivated and did not want to get out of the house. Some days I managed to, but as I was out I kept feeling like I’m not fully connected, I would question myself if I’m in a dream.
When I did manage to get out of the house, I had a panic attack at the mall. Suddenly, my face started feeling tingly and immediately thought “it’s going to happen again” so I raced out of the mall called my mom and went home. My legs were shaking again, I broke down in tears in the car my mom again started yelling at me. When I got home, I went to sleep immediately hoping I would feel better when I wake up.
Days went by again, still no motivation and it is becoming less of me leaving the house. Every day is a challenge for me. I constantly keep questioning if all of this is real and that I wish just to be normal again. There are some nights where I suddenly start feeling oddly weird, and my breathing shortens up getting hard to breath turning into negative thoughts.
The other week I randomly started getting knots in my stomach which led to my legs shaking again. The first few months were filled with a racing heart and a knot in my stomach which I suppose is some sort of anxiety it was still scary though. That doesn’t really happen anymore, only sometimes but I get nervous every time I leave the house to go to the movies or try and hang out with a friend in Town.
I’ve had days where I feel like I just want to give up, it’s that feeling where you can’t pass a level on a game. It feels similar to that. I recently have started counseling, and my first appointment is next week because I’m desperate for ways to get better and positively cope with this. I’m afraid I’ll feel like this for a long, long time.
Nobody really understands how I’ve been feeling, it’s just really hard to explain to people, flashbacks don’t really trigger me, just the not connected fully feeling and it mainly comes out of nowhere I’m scared of having anxiety attacks. My mom definitely does think what I had was Synthetic Marijuana because she said people don’t trip out like how I was on regular weed. Does anybody know any ways to cope with something like this? Thank you for reading.