I smoked spice (as it’s known around here) for roughly one or two years.
At first, the highs were horrible.
But being the ignorant young adult I was, I thought I would get used to it if I took it in small amounts.
With incredible peer pressure and the idiocy of my own self, I was able to adapt to spice rather quickly.
It got to where I was smoking two to three grams a day.
That’s about forty to sixty dollars a day around here.
In all the time I smoked after I became hooked, I never spent under twenty dollars a day on the stuff.
If the massive amount of money you will save is not enough to convince you that this drug is nothing good, perhaps what it has done to me will.
You see, before the drug I was the epitome of good health. I played sports, my skin and eyes were bright and clear, my hair was thick and shiny, you get the point.
About half a year after I started using heavily, I lost the ability to get any kind of high on any kind of marijuana. Others who have been smoking for longer than me (one boy has been hooked for eight years!) told me it was “normal”.
That should have been my first clue as to how awful spice was, and what it was doing to me.
But, as I have stated previously, I was an idiot.
I continued my use of it, and my hair started to dull and fall out. I have a semi- bald spot right in the front of my head that will not grow back quickly.
Ladies, I assure you this is not an attractive feature. My skin paled and dried out, and I now have worse acne than I ever did in high school.
My eyes are sunken, and at twenty one years old and five and a half feet, I weigh one hundred pounds. A full twenty pounds lighter than I was my senior year.
I did not notice any of this until my worried family forced me on a scale, and made me look in the mirror. Before then, I suppose my subconscious wouldn’t let me really look because it knew what I denied.
I hadn’t realized how long it’d been since I truly looked at myself. And when I did, I was the epitome of sick.
I have been able to fix some of these issues. My skin is getting better, my eyes are back to their shiny bright selves, and my hair isn’t falling out anymore.
However; my weight is still an issue, my acne is ever present, and the worst of it all, it gave me the worst form of anxiety there is: Panic disorder.
I can’t smoke weed anymore, because it gives me panic attacks. It ruined any chance I had at going back to the natural stuff. I can’t tell you how badly I miss it.
I am on tranquilizers because my body wants to panic twenty-four seven.
That’s right: I PANIC ALL DAY, EVERYDAY WITHOUT TRANQUILIZERS.
My muscles constantly twitch and shake, and I get horrible migraines.
I can’t go to shows anymore because the flashing lights and loud music may give me a seizure.
Spice ruined my life.
I am determined to get my life back eventually, but some parts I will never have back. The drug took them from me forever.
I will always be on medication to ensure the panic attacks don’t fry my brain, or worse, kill me.
Despite the heavy dosage (two fifty mg pills daily), I still have attacks throughout the day. I am having one now in fact, because another thing it did was take away my ability to watch anything stress related.
I can’t watch the horror movies I used to love. I can’t watch the t.v. shows I used to keep up on. I tried, and failed miserably to watch Jurassic World for goodness sake.
If anybody is thinking of doing spice, or is already doing it, please, PLEASE stop.
It may not be too late for you.
People are DYING on this shit.
I am lucky to have come out of this, still me.
I am lucky to have retained most of my intelligence.
But I will suffer mentally and physically for the rest of my life.
Don’t take weed for granted. If it isn’t “doing it for you” anymore, invest in a stronger version.
I don’t condone any form of high anymore, but God at least the natural stuff won’t kill you. Won’t give you a heart attack.
If you have to do something, make it natural.
I don’t care how cool the bag looks, how natural it says it may be, it is not good.
I read stories like mine and laughed at those people. Called them “weak noobs”. Said they “just couldn’t handle it”.
I was wrong. So, so wrong. And so are you if you think you can do it, and not suffer some sort of negative consequences.
I have tried it all. Scooby Snax, White Rabbit, Mr. Smiley, Dead Man Walking, Dopey, you name it.
None of them are good. None of them will stop it from hurting you. They will ruin you, like they did me. Like they have ruined others.
You may think you can do it. You can’t.
The boy I mentioned, the eight year smoker? His lungs are bleeding now. He’s in the ICU as I type. He can’t speak, and will never walk again.
Please stop smoking this. It may not kill you, but it WILL mess you up.
Don’t learn the hard way like I did.
It took months to get it out of my system. I’M STILL WITHDRAWING.
Please, I’m begging.
Listen to this website. Listen to me, to others.
It will save your life.