Five hours ago changed my life and will most likely scar me for the rest of my life.
I went over to my friend’s house – being a curious teenager that just wasn’t satisfied with life and was looking to get high.
Drinking once before at my families Christmas party and loving it, I dismissed everything I was told in drug education programs that said drugs ruined your life. Alcohol got me through that tough part in my life at Christmas time due to my brother’s ongoing heroin addiction.
Having thought that i had experience with one drug, I thought another weak drug like marijuana would be alright.
But we never ended up smoking weed.
Very quickly, I found myself amongst two people who i trusted that told me synthetic cannabis/spice was alright. I remember researching it and reading of its horrible outcomes but my “friends” soon convinced me otherwise.
Before I knew it, I was inhaling smoke from something they called a “GB” and the quantity of spice that was in the bowl looked like a tiny pinch that couldn’t do anything.
Within seconds, my whole body felt unnatural and I lost some of my balance. It felt somewhat like being drunk so I didn’t panic.
I was laying on the couch 1 minute later watching tv when my life changed. Almost instantly, my perception of reality became extremely distorted.
I looked around and everything looked slightly blurry and I thought I was dreaming. I looked at various objects, looking for small details to prove if I was awake, remembering that dreams have no detail. I saw the Ghana flag hanging on the wall and knew I was awake and at my friend’s house, however I didn’t feel in control of my body so it felt like a dream.
I began to have extreme anxiety, wondering if I was in reality. By now, my vision had taken on a “fisheyed” state and it felt as if I was viewing things from a 3rd person perspective. Out of my peripherals I could see my body, but only as an outline of dots that were the color of my clothes.
I remember looking at the logo on my sock, panicking, thinking – “how could this dream be so vivid?”
I began to go insane wondering what reality I was in.
By now, my body had acquired symptoms of extreme agitation and nausea, and I began to throw up in my mouth and fidget around, almost as if I was having a seizure. I lost most sensation of my body and barely could tell when my lungs were getting a full breath, and began to panic as I couldn’t breathe well at all, not feeling the sensation of doing so.
I felt out of control of the whole setting that I was in, and my heart was now racing.
My body was heavily drugged, and my mind was confused and destroying itself.
From the odd and absolutely terrifying feeling of being in a third perspective, it felt as if we were all puppets, following a routine of eat and sleep that was pointless. Just a thinking brain paired with a body. My mind thought of drugs, and accepted that it was under the influence of spice. I felt like I was looking into reality from afar and thought of how spice takes people out of reality and seemed to put them in another.
By now, I was totally out of it and thinking of how I never knew the purpose in life and this really solidified the thought that life is pointless. I began to glance at those around me, thinking of how we are all the same, a creature with an unexplainable desire to live. My anxiety became extreme when I began to think of how no one else realized what I had realized about life.
This made me paranoid to think that I lived in a world that was pointless, just a bunch of animals that contain a tissue in their head to allow them to pursue life, a meaningless journey.
Now, fast forward to now, me in the comfort of my own home 5 hours after the experience. I’m looking at my favorite cat, seeing a floating brain with eyeballs that are pacing the room, its mind wondering when it might eat next.
My dad tries to strike up a conversation about what is on the tv but I don’t respond to the larger floating brain that has its eyes pointed at me, seeing no point, wondering its importance.
I feel the urge to eat something and warm up some pizza. I take a bite, and get a flashback to me on my friend’s couch. I wonder, why do I want to be alive, just another floating brain paired with a body and a set of eyeballs to observe others. Why is there anything?
In conclusion, my mind is altered and I’m extremely suicidal all because of a pinch of green flakes. I’m not even moving anywhere, seeing no point to motion. I’ll most likely kill myself and become a statistic.
I share my story wondering if it might help other floating brains to not become altered. Right now I’m crying just thinking about me using the words “floating brain” as I realize how far my mind has been cast out.
I viewed myself as a normal 15 year old honors student approximately 6 hours ago that was just looking to have a little fun and maybe get “fucked up.”
I hope that the horrible choice my brain made will show others that this substance ruins those who dare to wield it.
Submitted Stories
“My mind is altered and I’m extremely suicidal all because of a pinch of green flakes” – Mark
05
Mar
Mar
