I started using spice in the evenings to help me sleep.
After a few weeks I started realizing that I was counting down the time until the evening when I could smoke it.
It was uncontrollable and it turned into all I thought about – eventually, I started smoking a little through the day.
I was lethargic all day, didn’t care about anything.
A couple of months after starting, I was stood smoking one and just thought “I have a problem, this needs to stop” as I realized I could barely remember Christmas – so I put it out, threw away the rest and thought everything was going to be fine.
The next night I started to feel sick and hot, the next three days were spent in bed shivering but sweating, throwing up every ten minutes to the point that I didn’t even bother aiming for the bucket after a while.
I just leant over the bed and just let it go there as I was too exhausted to even move due to lack of sleep.
I was drifting in and out in between throwing up.
Even if I drank a sip of water, I threw it back up straight away.
I was crying; my stomach felt like it was tearing itself apart.
I went from a healthy 9 and a half stone, down to 7 and a half in that time.
I started smoking to the point that I became severely underweight for my height – most of that was lost in only three days.
For about a month and a half, after my appetite was screwed, I was eating about 10 fries at dinner and even that made me feel sick, and that was it.
But, I got through it.
I have been living spice-free for a year now, and I haven’t looked back.
I can finally comfortably walk past the shop I’d bought it from and not feel the pull anymore.
I got through it and it was worth every second of the pain.