Thats the definition of addiction i guess…
That’s not even half of what I went through…
- No appetite for 4 days.
- Couldn’t keep water down.
- Vomiting when there was stuff in my stomach
- Dry heaves when there was nothing.
Not just in my stomach, either.
I felt like my lungs wanted to barf. I coughed myself hoarse and am just now recovering my voice.
Even when I was able to hold water down, it just stayed in me. I couldn’t pee.
Apparently this is due to another withdrawal effect: KIDNEY FAILURE!
This crap will make you retain water to the point your KIDNEYS WILL FILL WITH FLUID AND COULD EXPLODE.
Any of these things could cripple a person by itself, but to experience all of them at the same time…. like anxiety and panic attacks concurrently… is like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
One starts, then the other and there’s no way to calm yourself because its a chemical in your brain and there’s no way to turn it off.
Never in my life have I ever felt so good to just be normal.
For all the people I’ve worried, I am sorry – and rest assured, I’m on your side of all this.
I BEG anyone who is still using this drug to get off it now, before you aren’t able to get off of it, anymore.
But I don’t pity you.
Just like me, you made your own bed; but that doesn’t mean people don’t know what you’re going through and want to help!
If you quit, don’t try the “take a few hits” to get rid of the withdrawals. All that does is delay the inevitable.
The next time you stop, the withdrawals will start over from day 1! What a HORRIBLE thought…
If you have to chain yourself to a bed for a month to stay away, then do it. It will be the best decision you have ever made in your life.
Can you imagine what your loved ones would feel, if you died from this – just to catch a high?
Just in the pursuit of some kind of happiness?
Happiness the people who loved you couldn’t provide you with?
You can convince yourself of anything you want, but at the end of the day if you kill yourself from this crap you will scar your loved ones.
Don’t turn your loved ones away.
I know its so hard to see how much they care, when the only thing you’re concerned about is where your next k2 fix is going to come from; but I swear if you quit and let your mind return to normal you will see it and it will blow your mind how crazy you must have been to not see it.
I’m begging anyone who’s willing to listen… quit.
This is the DEVIL’S weed. He doesn’t want you to be happy. He wants you to suffer without end and then beg for more suffering.
And thats exactly what this SHIT does.
Every day for the last week, I have woken up feeling terrible; but what keeps me going is telling myself
I AM STRONGER THAN K2.
Every day, no matter how hard it is… no matter if it never goes away… I will wake up and FIGHT.
Don’t become another picture on the wall of people who have given their lives to this.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WAKE UP?
GUNS WON’T WIN THIS FIGHT FOR YOU.
YOUR MIND WON’T HELP YOU, BECAUSE IT IS POISONED.
YOUR SOUL IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN FIGHT THE DEMON WITH IT’S HANDS ON YOUR NECK!
Every morning now, I’m waking up feeling very anxious. Like I need a cigarette, worse than I ever have. Sometimes smoking a cigarette helps. Other times, it makes it worse.
I’m scared this will never go away. I’m scared that I will always need to smoke k2 for this to stay away because one hit makes it all disappear.
I’m scared because this feeling is almost all day and lets up maybe once or twice a day. It’s irrational, but when i feel like this it makes me upset to the point I throw up and that makes me feel better.
I’m worried that even though i was told and warned so much about this drug, I still managed to permanently hurt myself.
I’m worried there’s a deposit of k2 somewhere in my system that’s stuck there and won’t go away.
I feel guilty for having been told so many times and ignored it and survived when others didn’t get the same chance I did.
My mom’s friend’s son died from one hit of k2.
Apparently, whatever was in what he smoked was similar to bug spray.
I keep thanking God that I got that opportunity – but at the same time, I feel like I didn’t deserve it.
I made mistake after mistake that hurt my family, but this guy makes one mistake and he loses his life…
I know that’s wrong, but it’s hard not to think that way.
This is going to sound really bad, but I spent a long time feeling like I wouldn’t care if I died.
Now, I can see that the K2 caused a psychosis in me. It made me think my family and best friends were all secretly in league against me.
I’m so sorry.
I’m not sure I can say that enough.
I don’t know if the words to describe how guilty I feel exist.
Worse, i don’t think i can make it right, right now, because of all these feelings. If I’ll ever be able to.
I know I’m going to get a lot of responses of encouragement, but that’s not why I’ve posted this as I don’t think it will make me feel better.
Right now, this is between me and God. I just hope He sees that I will never go back to that crap.
I don’t need these anxiety issues as a reminder of why I should stay away from it. The very sight of it makes me run to a different room.
I fear it so much, I won’t even pick it up with my bare hands because I’m afraid it will seep in through my pores (I would consider this irrational, but considering how potent this crap is its not too far fetched.)
The smell from the k2 smoke makes me wanna throw up, and I won’t stay around it for fear that it will get in my system somehow.
The worst part is, I have never felt this way coming off k2 before. I always thought I would be able to quit anytime without consequence because of that.
Now I see two of my best friends ruining their lives with it.
Now, I understand why one of them has chosen this drug over his family.
The worst part is that, because he can’t stand the withdrawal, he will never get off it. Not unless something drastic happens.
I just hope for his sake it’s not too late to fix his world by the time he’s able to see just how much k2 has fucked it up.
Please, God, I’m begging you to help him. Please don’t make something terrible happen for him to realize.
I hope to God every time he is about to take a hit of k2, he sees his daughter’s smiling face there with his wife, and he will be able to understand what he’s losing.
What worries me is that if he’s going through anything like i went through, he may think they are purposely hurting him.
Hopefully, one day I can help him, too. Maybe me and his wife and family can all sit down and I just hope to god he’s able to see it.
I wont give up, though.
I WANT MY FRIEND BACK!
I WANT THE GUY I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH BACK!
I WANT US TO BE HAPPY AGAIN WITHOUT ALL THIS CRAP.
I WANT HIM TO FIND HIS INTEGRITY AGAIN.
I beg God for this now every time I feel the anxiety, and that helps.
I WANT HIS FAMILY TO COME BACK TOGETHER AND BECOME WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.
I hate seeing him repeating the same mistakes the other important people in his life have. Mostly because I know that if the drug wasn’t clouding his judgement he would DEFINITELY see it.
I’m close to crying right now, because I remember what life was like for him before this drug. I keep thinking: who’s to blame for this?
There are some that are more responsible than others for this (and God will hold them accountable) but if I have to blame someone…
Then I guess the man in the mirror is the only one who could have stopped it.