It all started when I went to the head shop with some friends to buy some salvia, when these drugs were first coming out and salvia was legal… that’s just another cray story… but I used “synthetic marijuana” for the first time 2010.
I don’t even like the term synthetic marijuana ’cause its more like crack, or meth.
I’ve been reading up on the long term effects of others. I’ve been off of spice now for 2 years, and it took me years to start to feel normal again.
I’m on anti-depressants now that regulate my mood and all. I also have heart palpitation problems.
I’m not sure if I am even using good grammar and spelling or going off track. I’m just scared cause my kidneys are bad now and everything.
Spice ruined my life. I know all this is from spice. I was very athletic until addiction started, and I could barely do anything.
I quit caring about myself when I started spice, and I didn’t even know it.
It always haunts me.
Yeah, the highs were great for me. but I am an addict. So my boyfriend at the time was not. He provided the spice for about half that time, then I worked for spice and only spice at a bookstore, when he quit his job making sandwiches.
It wore me out, and I was always paranoid at work – especially with hyper sensitive hearing in such a quiet place.
But anyways, he would help regulate me. I would take one hit at a time and wait at least an hour, and i was fine with that because I was high as fuck. But looking back, he saved my life a few times. I would try and finish a bowl and almost pass out from heart failure – this is what it felt like if I smoked too much.
I also experienced brain swelling a few times. I freaked out because my brain was so hot, I could have died. I was in college at the time as well. I quit pretty much after the first semester, from anxiety and sickness. I am planning on going back this year, although I will be older. It’s just college and my life, so I have to overcome this.
And I’ve been working hardddd at trying to live a happy life, and I am.
Also side note: real marijuana the plant .. lol. I have been using occasionally, but I know I used it when quitting, or else I would feel like death and be fucking crazy in my mind. I’m just sharing this to be open and honest about all my use, and I like feedback.
This has been heart breaking for me, but I am keeping my chin up. Everytime I think about that time in my life, it haunts me.
I hate admitting this, but I used spice around my dogs and I realized they liked being around it. But one time, I blew smoke in their faces – all three of them… they’ve been mentally crazy for years now because of it, and it’s a deep dark spot that hurts so much to admit.
I’m just scared, is all. My whole family could lose their pets because of me, and I could die earlier than normal, too, and have more issues than I do now.
I love each and every one’s beautiful soul, and life always gets better if you get help.