I had dealt with a rough upbringing, losing my guardian when I was only 17. I was always an A+ student, overachiever, but socially inept when it came to having more than one close relationship.
Anyway, I was also diagnosed with manic depressive and later had postpartum after my marriage and having children reasonably young, college dropout. However, I could manage until my marriage ended shortly after my third was born and many health issues of my own.
Unable to see a doctor about how to deal with the physical effects of my emotional trauma, I briefly smoked weed. Out of fear of drug testing, I started smoking spice. It was marketed to me as not that harmful, and I was just an idiot.
My addiction only lasted for 6 months. I would wake up on a schedule through the night, every 40 minutes to an hour, sick and need to take just one hit from a gravity bong so I could not throw up and go back to sleep.
Knowing that I had entirely fucked up my life, I asked for my children to stay with my mother. I lost 150 lbs over 6 months of detox. I hallucinate; I was temporarily schizophrenic and checked myself into outpatient. I have been clean for 5 years now, a little more. And my life is still affected.
It took 6 months to destroy my life, and it could take another 10 or more to repair the relationships. And my credit. I was spending $40 a day… Never even try it. Not once. I still cry over my passion for telling others to never go near it.