I used to smoke a lot of weed, and I got a new job.
I waved the green flag at work (to try and find other like-minded pot smokers) and ended up speaking to a guy who told me all about this new drug that was totally legal. You always get a gram, £10 a bag and gets you real high, real quick.
It sounded like a dream come true.
At first I only needed a tiny bit to get me sky-high, but after a while I was easy smoking a bag a day.
Then, smoking after work became smoking before work, then during work and eventually I was taking regular cigarette breaks just to get a hit.
It all happened so fast.
I’d taken plenty of different illegal drugs before hand, when I was younger, but this was different.
I didn’t know anything about this drug or what it was potentially doing to my mind and body.
I just kept telling myself that this was somehow better, because I’d never get caught with it.
It was legal, after all. At least I wouldn’t lose my job.
After 5 months of that craziness, I up and walked out of my job and just 3 days after that, the police force raided every shop in the country to get rid of synthetic marijuana temporarily.
I lost it, screamed at shop assistants, walked for miles working from tip offs hoping to find someone who had a stash under the till left, ringing everyone I knew in my address book.
10 hours later, I returned home empty-handed.
I could have bought some online, sure, but I knew in my head – enough-is-enough.
I bought some anti-anxiety prescription medication and a bag of weed from a friend and got to work pinning a sheet to my bedroom window and duct taping the edges to block any light.
I filled a water bottle and grabbed a bucket in case I was sick and told my flat mate to leave me alone for 7 days.
I crawled into bed and stayed there.
I cried, I sweated, I was sick, I couldn’t eat or sleep.
I didn’t speak to anyone or do anything.
I stayed there for the entire week.
It hurt like hell but I did it. I’m still here.
I’m weak but if I can do it, hell, anyone can.