So here goes my story..ready?
It’s been a rough year for me, and I’m not sharing my story to look for sympathy or compassion cause that’s not my intensions at all. I’m a 17 year old that lives in a small town where drugs aren’t hard to find.
When I was younger I always told myself I’d never do drugs, I’d never smoke, blah blah blah. Yeah right. I guess I fell in with the wrong crowd you could say. But there’s no one to blame but myself.
I come from a broken family, not using that as an excuse for anything but it definitely adds to my reasoning. A family that looks down upon anyone that does drugs, calls them a disappointment and someone that’s not going to make it in life. Thanks.
It was only about a year ago when I started to smoke “spice” as I guess it’s called. We call it legal. A few hits here and there, I didnt think much of it, untill it made me a completely different person.
Spice was the only thing I cared about and Id do ANYTHING to get it. I stole from my parents to keep up with my drug habit, my attitude was just completely shitty. I wasn’t a pleasurable person to be around. But just wait it gets worse, my 21 year old ex boyfriend brought something new to town..
Which if you don’t know what that is, it’s pretty much meth. One hit and that was my new addiction.
My family knew something was up. Everything I took from my parents, they noticed. My drug dealer ex boyfriend went missing for 3 weeks, and not long after that was arrested.
When my parents saw him being looked for on the news, and knew the charges he was being faced with, they knew what I was doing. To have your mother look you in the eyes and say “You’re such a disappointment” breaks you to pieces.
I cleaned myself up… For about a week.
And back to smoking spice it was. It’s almost like its the only thing I had to turn to. I lost all my friends when I turned into a “druggie” and the friends I did have were slowly killing themselves with toxins. But only the good die young right?
I never thought spice would effect my body as much as it did.. I’ve seizured a couple of times, and my friends constantly remind me about my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
But I’m addicted. my body is itchy all the time, to the point where I have scars on my stomach and arms from itching so much. Coughing up black stuff is very attractive too by the way.
I really want to stop, but nothing compares to the feeling of being high.