Oh lets see, where do i start..if your were to ask if i could go back and change anything about my past id say yes, i wish id never bought that first bag of spice/k2 3 years ago. im 26 years old right now and i have smoked weed socially since i was about 18 years old. now when i smoked weed i never had control issues, or considered is a problem, it was just more of a hobby, or i would smoke just like an average Joe would go out and have a beer with his buddies at the bar. i had graduated high school and had a very good strong group of friends, moved out of my parents house with 2 of my best friends and landed an awesome job for someone who never went to college. i had worked the job for 3 years and ending up failing on a totally random drug test that came about due to a change in the company’s insurance and was fired. Luckily my boss was a father figure to me and offered to let me paint his house for $8hr. while i cleaned up and passed another drug test to get my job back.
So i get my job back and and find an amazing woman who i had loved more than anything. about the same time i got my job back was about the time spice/k2 came to my area. i had tried is with a friend a few times and was informed it was legal to buy and didnt show up on and drug test. so i began buying a 3g bag to last a week or 2. i would only smoke late a night before bed, or on weekends when we had everyone together. well long story short that change within 6-8 months.
i was smoking about 3 bags a week. i wake-n-bake before work, and light up right after work and smoke til i passed out at night. none of my friends mentioned how much i was using, just labeled me as a hardcore “pot-head”. i then ended up blowing $1500 paychecks on spice, could barley pay bills on time and found myself smoking at work on lunch breaks and on the was to deliveries. this got to the point where i was constantly arguing with my girlfriend. having issues with my boss, family, and friends. i was not social at all, all i could think about was getting my next fix or keeping that “high”.
i decided to do something about it once my girlfriend had threatened to leave me after 2 serious years. i was at work all tweaked out, paranoid, stressed, depressed ect. and went to my boss in person and said i had a problem and needed help. he got me into an out-patient re-hab the next day and i could finally clean up and turn my life around. i was clean for about 4 months before i relapsed on spice.
After my relapse, my use was 10 times worse. i was stealing cash from my roomate to fund my use. my girlfriend left me during my treatment in re-hab and my job was on the line again. i was soo depressed over my girlfriend leaving me id became suicidal.
i was smoking about $100 a day, i was high 24/7. i was so anti-social i wouldn’t go home for days. id drive around smoking to the point where id pass out at stop lights, or in parking lots late late at night. i was lucky i never got into an accident or pulled over by the cops. i had pretty much pawned everything id owned but my car. i lost my job for the second time, and lost it for good. decided i needed to move back home with my parents and get help again. at my lowest point i was smoking 8-12g a day and dont even want to think about all the money i pissed away on it. so i moved back home where spice was harder to get ahold of. but that quickly changed, it seems as soon as i moved back, the spice found me and i was back at it again.
I remember one day i had smoked a 10g bag and was working on a 3g bag when i woke up to a police officer knocking on my driverside window. i had a makeshift pipe sitting in my lap, a bag in my center console, and a few roaches in my ashtray. i was arrested for possession of paraphanila, booked and released. i walked from the police station to my car at 3am to find my bag and roaches in my car still. so i stopped and picked up a pack of cigars and rolled up and smoked what i had left on the way home.
This was the reality check that i needed, my parents found out about my arrest about a week later when the local newspaper printed my arrest in the crime section of the local tribune. from there i checked into an in-patient re-hab for a 30 day intensive program. i lasted less than 24 hours before i broke down and promised myself and my parents that i never touch it again as long as i didnt have to go back to in-patient re-hab.
As of today, i am excatly 5 months clean. im still committed to my sobriety and finally turning my life around again. they say the first step to gettin the help you need is admitting you have a problem, and to be truthful, if you smoke spice/k2, you ARE addicted, but it just hasn’t hit you yet. My advise is probley like a broken record to you, but all i can say from experience is stop now before its too late and get some help. there are plenty of support groups.
Narcotics Annomous meetings help a ton and are a great way to develop a support group of people you can call or talk to anytime. hell, you can email me if you need someone to talk to. i understand how you feel and can relate. and to eveyone who has been clean and sober, 1 day or 1 year, congrats to you! its a tough battle and keep it up. time heals everything and you can get clean, you just have to commit. good luck!