Ok, so it’s going to be very difficult to be so vulnerable. Still, I’m telling this story in the hopes that it will serve as a deterrent to anyone thinking of using this drug, or anyone wondering if they should quit.
As a short introduction, I was a straight-A student in school, I never missed a day, I had never sworn in front of an adult or ever broken any rules. That all changed when my friend Logan introduced my girlfriend and me to spice.
I first smoked a form of spice called Space in the year 2010, I was only 16. It started around the time I met my first girlfriend in High School. She and I experimented together, and we used it on and off during high school.
After we graduated, 2 years later, in 2012, the tattoo shop in our small town that sold it was shut down, so we no longer had access to it and subsequently stopped smoking it.
Fast forward 2 years later, my girl and I have moved in together, and we moved to a bigger city, where unfortunately the spice was sold at various corner stores.
We started smoking it again, but it was much more potent. My girlfriend realized how addicting it was, so we both decided to quit. She was successful, I was not.
My girlfriend was the girl of my dreams, beyond beautiful and everything I could ask her. But my addiction to spice turned me against her. I began spending all of our money on it.
My addiction became obvious. She would try everything to help me—everything from just showering me with love to giving me tough love. One time, she showed me this very website.
She began reading stories about how terrible spice addiction would get, and we both read a story about a couple that was torn apart by spice. We both held each other and wept.
Because we were afraid, it was going to happen to us. I wish I had listened to those stories and heeded their warnings. But I didn’t. I’d get home and take a hit and pass out on the couch.
She’d wake me up and beg me to go to bed with her. But, I never would. I stayed in the living room, claiming to be ‘staying up playing video games,’ but it was just an excuse to smoke spice and nod off while she slept. This went on for about 2 years.
Soon I was unable to hold a job. I’d go on spice binges for days and lie to my girlfriend and say I just had a lot of days off when in reality, I just wasn’t showing up to work so I could binge.
We began struggling financially, but that didn’t stop me. I soon began stealing money from her purse, and I’d even pretend to go visit my family in our hometown so I could steal from them.
This drug made me so deranged. I put on my Walmart uniform, and walked into the store unnoticed, and stole electronics out of the back. I did this for months unnoticed. (at least I thought I went unnoticed, but they eventually caught on and began watching me.)
As if that wasn’t enough, once when I was having withdrawals, I drove to the store where they sold it at about 3 in the morning. I grabbed a hammer from my trunk and broke the window to the store, and went inside to ransack it for spice.
The store owner hid the spice in a very discrete location behind a trash can. The police enforcement in the city was beginning to crack down on it.
I started filling my pockets when the store owner and his daughter (who evidently slept in the back room of their store) came out and pointed their guns at me.
I put my hands up and begged them not to shoot. They yelled at me to leave, and I slowly backed out of the store, went home and smoked the spice I had managed to put in my pockets.
The next morning I was all over the news. I wore a hat and sunglasses, and it was dark, so I’m sure most people didn’t know who I was, but my family knew.
They recognized the shirt I was wearing, and I woke up the next day to so many missed calls from my dad, who knew exactly what I had done.
After I had stolen from my sister, my father, my aunt, my friends, and my girlfriend, they ALL still believed in me and tried to get me into rehab.
But, I refused. Not having learned my lesson, I began going back to the Walmart I worked at and began stealing electronics again. Until I was caught and arrested.
My girlfriend bailed me out immediately. I promised her I’d quit, and I got a job and tried my best to get my shit together. But after two weeks on the straight and narrow, I relapsed again.
My girlfriend came home to me, obviously strung out, and even worse, I spilled some spice on the floor, and our dog licked some of it up, and we had to take her to the vet, and they were barely able to save her life.
When we got home, my girlfriend picked up my iPad in its hard plastic otter box case and threw it at my face out of anger. It made a huge gash on the side of my face, and it needed stitches.
After she took me to the hospital and we came back home, she went back to her parent’s house, and I went on a 2-day spice binge.
I went out to buy more spice, with a blank check of course, because it wouldn’t hurt to stoop just a little bit more, right? And when I got back home, the police were waiting for me.
Apparently, since my girlfriend bonded me out of jail the first time, she had the option to cancel the bond and have me arrested. So, she did just that. Because she didn’t know what else to do.
I spent 3 months in the county jail, my girlfriend didn’t write to me or anything. She just pretended I had died, it was the only way she could cope. After 3 months in jail, my sister bailed me out.
They left me to jail so that I could detoxify. After I got out of jail, I got back on my feet, I got a job, and I even got back with my girlfriend. She saw that I had changed and gave me another shot.
I was clean for almost a year, had a job, and was happy. Until I made the worst decision of my life. I gave in to the urge. After almost a year of clean, I threw it all away.
My girlfriend found a baggie of it, and she immediately drove me to a motel with my belongings and told me to never contact her again.
I looked outside the window of the motel, and I saw her bawling her eyes out inside the car and banging her fists on the steering wheel.
This was the last time I ever saw her. My girlfriend of almost 7 years, my best friend, and the person I’d quite literally spend every waking moment with. We were so close, as close as any couple could be. And this was how it ended.
I stayed in the motel and got high until they kicked me out. I lived in an alleyway until I finally worked up the courage to call my sister and ask her for help.
And, help me, she did. I finally agreed to go to rehab, and she drove me straight there. I did 6 months in rehab, and as of today, I have 2 years and 10 months sober. I’m thrilled that it’s over, but the question I ask myself is, “at what cost?”
I lost everything to this drug. I ultimately hindered my future, and I lost the person I love the most in this world. If only I had just quit sooner. If only I hadn’t given in to that urge.
To anyone reading this, please heed this message. You will quit. You will overcome this addiction. You will come out on top, just please let it be sooner than later.
Don’t be a fool like me. Don’t quit after you’ve lost it all. Listen to these stories, and heed their warnings.
Quit now. Because if you postpone it, it’ll take eveything from you in the blink of an eye.