Ok well! I guess it all began with me browsing the web back in 2012 and came across an article on synthetic marijuana and how it is supposed to be the new LEGAL drug.
I have Fibromyalgia and ADHD, I heard all about the benefits of medical marijuana and recreational weed, and that helped with my pain much more than Opiate painkillers.
They told me that they sold it at this smoke shop by me and how it was “flying off the shelves“! So I went to this place the next day and was told how to use it etc.
Well, when I did that night, I was like a person who started a crack binge. I couldn’t get enough of it; it doesn’t feel like a weed high, but it helped my anxiety better than what I took for anxiety.
Well, I don’t remember when my shop stopped selling it, (late ’12 I think) doesn’t know if I was addicted to it yet but thinking back now definitely.
I found multiple sites that were selling it, and this is where Spice became my new BF. The buzz back in 2013 that some brands gave was fantastic until the DEA started banning it.
2nd and 3rd generations were not high at all anymore, but I began to notice changes in my teeth, my dentist asked me if I was doing Methamphetamine. I was getting cavities like every five or six months; overall I wasn’t feeling like myself anymore.
I didn’t feel healthy, but my mind said “well I am not eating people nor running outside naked, etc. I had the “I’m not like those people attitude.”
Then I started to have major issues with my gums, and tooth breakage, by now it was summer 2014, my habit was about 3-31/2 grams a day.
I identified with certain people on side effects, for example, I qualified for Medical marijuana since IL legalized it. I was relieved because I wanted to get off the Spice because it was helping with my fibromyalgia, but then started medical marijuana pilot program, and I couldn’t get high off of weed!!
So I read that Spice blocks the effects of Marijuana!! I was so confused with that until I saw a YouTube documentary and spice acts like Methadone to a person who used Spice.
I wasn’t feeling better or high from the dispensaries strongest strains!! So in early 2016, I stopped spice for like three months and still no reaction to Marijuana!!!
So I went back to spice, and it is the only thing that helps with my fibromyalgia and anxiety!! It’s the 2nd day of November 2016, this past summer; I am starting to feel like crap every day with or without using. My short-term memory is going.
Last spring, I lost a ton of weight, and my appetite. I’m exhausted all day even though I’m on Adderall four times a day, but my recent physical in August shows no signs of heart issues, the brain is fine, blood work normal, etc.
But I don’t feel okay anymore; I know that my motivation has gone out the window and I now can’t stop using, psychologically…
I have 6.5 years of sobriety from painkillers and Xanax which was physically so bad; I thought I was dying, and now this stuff is in my opinion what I’ve been researching if keep using I could go to bed and not wake up in the morning, I’m scared.