I am an addict who has finally been rehabilitated after 3-5 consecutive years of smoking spice.
I began experimenting with spice at the age of 15 through peers and fortunately for me every amount I’ve ever ingested was never toxic enough to be lethal.
I had means of obtaining the substance through local “head shops” in my town.
I did not meet the age requirements to purchase the substance, and I managed to walk in still and walk out with no questions asked.
As I started using the substance more and more, I was able to understand a further correlation between spice and harder drugs such as ecstasy or heroin and I began craving the highest highs from the spice, almost as if to reminisce on experimenting with other drugs previously in my past.
The feelings and emotions my brain would subconsciously drift through while under the influence were incredible. Like experiencing looking at my life through a time machine in a trance of complete stupidity and sedation.
I was quite literally in love with a substance the way one would obsess over a significant other.
I traded it for birthdays, family gatherings, holidays, I couldn’t even bring myself to spend time with friends who also used the same substance because I wanted to be secluded in my thoughts.
As I used more and more, the physical dependence started catching up with me as I had never experienced these symptoms in my life.
Every day like clockwork 12 am, 3 am, 6 am, I would wake up just to get high when I should have been sleeping.
From 6 am unto whenever I would pass out later in the day nonstop every hour I was high or getting high.
I had lost control of my relationships and my life altogether and were a senior in high school I dropped out of school just to have more time to get high (immediately receiving my GED)
My family began noticing how impossible it was for me to come back.
I was alive, but I was not present.
I had to be admitted into treatment for ten days the first time when I was 16, and I had no program or means of staying clean.
After about a month of being clean, I relapsed and picked up right where I left off in this downward spiral.
I spent another 6-8 month using until I was given an ultimatum and I went back to treatment this time six months span three different times.
By the time I accumulated any clean time and remained sober I was released back into a healthy life where I once again tried to obtain the substance where this time I had discovered the authorities had stepped in and shut down the stores.
I had no way to get it, and I wanted to for a long time.
About a year being out of treatment and no longer using spice, I met someone who knew where to get it, which led me to my most recent relapse two years ago.
Today I drive by the store that continues to sell the substance, and I do not feel they want.
I do not want to go back down that path.
I do not want to open that chapter of my life, and I do not want to get high today.
I cannot say whether treatment was a viable part of my recovery, but one thing I know is an object in motion stays in motion whereas an object at rest will remain at rest in the same circumstance.
Remain at rest.