Last night, my friend and I bought some weed and decided to smoke up at his house – we do this quite regularly as I’m a recreational user (and we know his crib is the best to chill out at).
But this night was so much different to any other. We bought our £10 bag and decided to rip a bong each; my friend ripped a mountain-sized bong and felt completely fine. But then it was my turn.
I ripped the bong hesitantly (I’m always a little anxious before doing it), and then exhaled one of the most significant clouds of smoke I’ve ever breathed out before. Everything seemed, and I thought it wasn’t really going to affect me because 1 bong hasn’t really in the past.
But I looked at my mate, and we fist bumped, giggling like kids, and he sat down to play on the Xbox. I looked at him and realized it was a mistake, so I said I feel a bit sick, then moved to the window to breathe a little.
I stood there for a good 20 mins, breathing as deep as I could because I had this constant wave of nausea and anxiety. Then all of a sudden my legs turned to jelly, and I fainted for a second, banging my knees on the radiator.
My mate dragged me to the sofa, and we sat there for a while. He explained to me how everything’s fine and that it happens to everyone. But when I looked at him, I couldn’t see anything at all. My vision was completely black and was blind for about 40 minutes straight (it was scary).
I giggled a few times because of how absurd the situation was! But after a few silly giggles, I suddenly felt the most terrified I’ve ever been before. I’m 16 years old and even when I’m sober I feel as though I’m kind of trapped in a dream. But this situation was the most transcendent and I do not have even the words to explain the emotions I was feeling.
I sat there, blind, hearing voices in my head. Flashes of lights engulfed me, and patterns and shapes appeared in front of me (it felt like I had just taken an extremely psychedelic drug). But what scared me was the fact that it was just weed, so I shouldn’t be feeling like this at all.
All of a sudden I kept talking to myself (but I had no control in that situation at all) it was as if I wasn’t even alive. I felt my soul move out of my body and move back in it again. At this point, I was sure I was going to die.
I had flashbacks of moments in the past, and my hearing was utterly distorted – I could hear my mate asking how I was feeling, but I couldn’t reply at all. I just sat there, extremely disorientated and confused, not able to do anything at all.
Then, a light suddenly appeared, and I could hear a voice (my mother’s I believe) telling me to “fight the darkness” and to “go towards the light.” So like something I’ve never felt before, I moved towards the light. (I didn’t physically move or even move in my imagination. Another part of me walked towards the light – like I had an entirely other sense) If you can understand.
Finally, I was sucked up to the light and could finally see. It was absolutely crazy, and I felt as if I almost died and came back to life! After this, I felt much better and could walk again. So I walked back home – extremely high still. I was physically fine, but not mentally. I said things to people on the phone that I don’t remember at all, and I felt as though I wasn’t in control of my body at all.
I finally got back home and fell asleep (but my dreams felt so strange). It’s the next morning now, and I think subtle – just a little confused. It’s made me think about life a lot more and how absurd everything really is! I’m very into researching “absurdism,” and this experience has 100% confused me even more! But I’m not in pain mentally; I’m just in a state which is very confused, but I’m like that all the time.
But, the moral of the story almost, is to be 100% certain what drugs you are taking (because I actually think it was a spice, which is synthetic weed and is very dangerous). Also, make sure you know your limit and be specific that you are mentally prepared for the intoxication!