I had started smoking at about 14 years old. All of the time, I guess you could call me a pothead. Every time, I was healthy I could eat and sleep better. Pretty much every day all day I would smoke.
Well, one day I was smoking with my friends like any typical day we were in the car (16 years old). For some reason, I just felt very weird and paranoid. So I went home and figured I could sleep it off.
As I was laying down, had a box vision almost as if the world was going away from me. I realized it, and my arms were flailing as I grabbed on my blanket to get up. I guess I fell on the floor unconscious and my mom woke me up and I felt like I needed to jump back to life, back to the world almost.
My mom called the cops then I remember sitting on the couch with paramedics in front of me, but my vision was like white I couldn’t make out their faces. So they asked if I could get up and walk with them to the ambulance and I said yes but then passed out.
For about 30 seconds later, I remember being in the ambulance then to the hospital. They gave me charcoal to drink and eventually let me go home, and I felt fine. I showered the next morning thinking “man I almost died.
I am so lucky to be here” I continued to smoke because I thought maybe the fact I took cold medicine that day maybe was it. So a few months later again, I was smoking with friends and felt weird still the same kind of weird.
I drank some water and felt scared so laid in bed with my mom. Closed my eyes and it happened again but so much worse. My mom drove me to the same hospital, but when they let me go, I still felt that weird feeling.
I was so traumatized that to this day, years later, (23 years old) I haven’t smoked even once. But I’m still scared of it happening again. I have anxiety which one of the symptoms is feeling hovering over your body feeling, which makes it even scarier.
I only feel normal now after I drink or take my Xanax. But I still feel inadequate every day. I wonder if I’ll ever feel normal again. I pray one day I will.
Even writing this makes my heart race remembering it so vividly. Anyways I’m here if anyone feels the same way and would like to talk or share some coping mechanisms.