I’ve been an addict for like five years now. Not to this drug but I started off escaping reality through weed when I was just 13. At 15, I took my first perk 30, and it changed everything.
I felt so good in school, within three months I was snorting heroin, three months after that I was shooting it.
After two years of so much hell, I entered the methadone program and got clean off the Heroin but only because it put my withdrawals at bay, THIS DOESNT WORK.
I started smoking crack and for the nine months that they weaned my methadone dose up to 140mg per day, then get my crack then work.
One day, my insurance cut off, this was fucking the state insurance; you can’t even get into the methadone clinic without state-provided insurance.
This fucked me! I should have quit after my nine days at Rogers detox center because the withdrawals were so bad from the methadone, it was literally like I couldn’t sleep for two weeks and eat or do anything downright subhuman, not functioning correctly and still smoking crack, utterly pathetic. Dude, I was fucking 18 years old at this point, still a fucking baby.
Didn’t know shit and people of middle age were giving it to me on a daily basis. What the fuck! I then as soon as my 6 WEEKS of withdrawals were over I went to Georgia to live with my uncle.
He is very successful and taught me a lot. He gave me a chance, stealing booze was a daily event, taking the pot from his stash, was regularly occurring even though I went to get better.
After only two months, I came back to Milwaukee for three weeks to take care of some business, smoked crack every fucking day that I was backing for. Then went back, doing better, but still trying to escape me on a regular basis.
One night he went out, and I stole his truck and got a DUI. This was when he gave up on me! My cousin who is a cop bailed me out.
I was almost 20 when I got the DUI on Oct 31 of 2015. Remember now; I dropped out of school the first week of the junior year.
I haven’t hung out or been normal for almost three years now at this point. I don’t even know how to interact with others at this point. A cop and his wife bailed me out.
My cousin was the cop, and he didn’t believe in me. However, his wife did not know as much did bail me out and gave me a place to stay.
After about two weeks I was drinking every day again eventually moved out with their daughter and girlfriend.
300 bucks a month but still have no friends and no support cause these bitches were fucking nuts.
Left that fucking nigger ridden neighborhood within two months but it wasn’t even my choice.
I came back to Milwaukee feeling lonely and depressed. I linked up with some fucker who I knew would be down to get fucked up/ he showed me K2.
I then smoked it every day sometimes 3 or 4-5gram or 10-gram bags PER DAY going to the north side and people threatening my life for a 15 dollar bag while I’m waiting at the bus stop.
Dude, was that bad, smoking out of cans, on the bus. Man, I am so fucked up; I took some LSD with a few of my buddies. We had a fucking realization man; I cannot get high anymore.
My brain is physically different. It’s so bad because I have slacked so hard for so long.
I don’t even know where to begin to put together the pieces anymore, but I’m making huge strides and just the WILL POWER TO WANT NOT TO BE FUCKED UP is helping me so much. I don’t want to be subhuman- I called some people wondering hit machines.
No that was me, for any drug any time for the last five years. I didn’t have a girlfriend or been fucked in like four years I lie about it, but people know.
I need to be physically in the better condition to even attempt fucking a girl.
I currently have reconnected with my old high school friends who I had turned my back on, (btw k2 withdrawals are on par with methadone) incredibly intense, puking every 15 minutes without a hit; Appalling, emotionally high, so I was high for 15 min, and as soon as I came down I would start to be sick, you need it all day everyday nonstop no breaks, impossible to keep a job. I withdrawal and puked and lost 45 pounds nigga in like a month from K2.
No drug is that bad. Yeah, it is! My buddy has been working me back into society as a productive member, but he’s using psychedelics to do it, he offers me hard drugs that I know I don’t want to use, watches me make the conscious mission whether I use them or not.
After a few months of every weekend seeing that I want to get better, I think he has been recording my decisions but there not decisions to me.
I haven’t had friends in so long I don’t even know how to react but they push me to my limits every time we hang out making me feel so uncomfortable, talking to others, becoming a human again.
I am so close to getting into college, but yet I almost still feel like other people with agendas NIL a lab rats. They have to have agendas, and I know this, but I need the advice so sorry it is giving them drugs to help me get knowledge.
They must be getting something out of this. Unless people are genuine, I don’t even know because I’ve just been used for all of my adult life. I don’t have any idea where to start getting my life together.
I need to cleanse this body. That’s step on, eating and drinking water. I’ve been doing it a month. Finally has a functioning brain enough to be clear minded about being SOBER, this is crucial.
You can’t be forced into sobriety, but you can’t tell someone how great it is either, they have to see it, decide they want it, and apply actions in their life.
But however, this is so fucking difficult because I haven’t lived life since freshman year. So I don’t know how to get back into society. I have the willpower, and I think I am doing a pretty good job.
I seriously don’t know what to do. Has anyone ever been in a position like this? I know drugs are so bad but then, on one hand, I think I have severe problems and need a physiatrist.
Dude, I’m so confused! I am almost 21, and I feel like I’m running out of time to fix the problems. Do I need drugs to be normal? Because drugs are what made me so fucking unnormal.
I know it’s not about conforming. I am my man god damn it, but I can’t be a loner either. So I need to experience what others my age are doing as well.
If I don’t get help and stay alone I will end up using and being a subhuman, if I take aid and get prescribed drugs, I feel like my brain may never go healthy, and it will be utilized as a puppet forever.
I am very easily convinced of anything as I know so little. I read online that an addicted brain needs time to recover.
It’s been one week of sobriety, but it hasn’t even, it’s been like three days then I got fucked then three more days, is this right approach? Rehab has never worked because of it’s a drastic change.
I feel like I am learning about society in a way that is a lot easier. Is this a government program? I hear a lot of stuff about this Justice point. Should I check it out? People are saying great things about it, sober-ish people but they’re all forced into it.
I know that these guys want me to do well, but at the same time, I am taking risks that they won’t and I feel that it being used that way. However, I need the fucking knowledge that I’ve been getting through them.
Am I doing the right thing? Weaning back into a human being!