I smoked Synthetic for almost 6 years on & off. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m delusional & don’t feel emotions; I have a sleep disorder Called REM where I beat the shit out of my fiancé in my sleep & don’t remember it when I wake up.
I have panic attacks & my mind is clouded. I have another disorder Called depersonalization realization disorder where I don’t feel, depended on the drug because I was lonely & it made me feel better.
I had nobody there for me; I was addicted smoking a bag (six grams) a day every day. All day I’ve already had a hard life, but I liked it because it put me in a fantasy that my life was okay & I was going to be okay.
I lived that daydream for almost six years, & my loneliness was gone so I began to isolate myself. It leads me to jail & other facilities, mental hospitals & horrible places due to how violent I am because of legal.
I have so much anger & now I’m off Synthetic & have my fiancé who I fell in love with & took me off of legal. I have everything that I always wanted & legal got me used to isolation because, for a long time, I was lonely & used law because had nothing or nobody to care about me & ask how I feel.
Now, I have my beautiful fiancé & prefer being alone now, & isolate myself. I love my fiancé & she loves me too, but because of law, I can’t show my emotions & hurt her.
I can’t help it; synthetic ruined me & I regret it ruined my life & I’m only 18. I started smoking at such a young age.
I was just a child barely 13; it was the first drug I tried & I was instantly hooked. I hope for the best but expecting the worse.
I’m lifeless, I’ve been off legal for three months now & it’s been the worst three months of my life. Felt like, I was dying with withdraws.
I would sit in the shower with scalding hot water & throw up on myself because I didn’t have the strength anymore. I’m still trying even after.
All that I won’t give up & I’m going to try my best to be normal & happy, but Synthetic is a horrible drug it ruined me.