Tonight will be the fifth night in a row I have either not gotten any sleep at all or only gotten crappy sleep.
I’m writing this now after I have been up all night and its 5 am in the morning.
I feel like a monster. I keep asking God if this is going to be permanent and will he please take it away. I keep telling Satan to leave my presence.
Apparently, the filthy wretch thought he had another soul lined up and now has me on his company’s APB list.
When I close my eyes I see these horrific images and videos of flesh being ripped apart, bodies disfigured, limbs and heads being axed or chopped.
Sort of a throw in a bonus with insomnia. However, today I haven’t had very many of these. The cold sweats and chills have subsided some but flare up at night when I’m about to fall asleep.
I take a bunch of showers, especially at night when I’m going crazy trying to sleep. It helps to break up the monotony.
After quitting smoking weed for a long time, I picked it back up about two months ago.
At the same time, my P.O. was trippin, and I thought she was going to drug test me so I started smoking spice instead so I could pass.
I had done this a few times in the past and had one time had withdrawals but only lost a night of sleep; I didn’t have all this other evil stuff to deal with.
I feel like a terrorist has attacked me. I also feel like hell is getting some new residents due to Spice and this rotten synthetic drug industry.
However, I didn’t have any of the extreme screaming seizure fits that some get right after they smoke, I do get similar symptoms in the withdrawals.
I am a Teen Challenge graduate, like inpatient rehab, and I’m going back in 2 days. Just going to start from scratch.