“Everything In My Life Is Against Me, I’m An Over Thinker” – Loran

I need help; I’ve been using anti-depressants and weed for two years, antidepressants (pregabalin) twice to 3 times a week. I smoke weed daily but not too heavily. I used to hate Spice until I tried it again and I fell in love with it.

I stopped my weed and started smoking spice only till next week. I realized I’m hooked, and keep telling myself it’s the last bag. I consume Spice two months now and can’t stop myself from it.

When it’s not there, I cry, I feel sick and depressed. I remember every single negative thing in my life. I’ve had two suicidal attempts, and I still consider it every night spice is not there or any other alternative.

I don’t have any quilting groups in my area, it’s a small city, everything in my life is against me, I’m an over thinker. I over think every single thing in my life, even small and stupid things.

I lost half of my hair, and I’m 20 years old. Sometimes, I’m bipolar, for no reason out of nowhere. I feel like am happy and everything is positive, and significant energy grows in me, but that’s only till I realize.

Why am I so excited? And I go back to my usual mood, am I addicted or am I mentally ill? The idea of going to a psychiatrist scares me, I’ve never been to a psychiatrist, I can’t ask help from my big brother because I call him every time.

I am super depressed at night crying, after a while, I realized he doesn’t care and feel everybody is lying, and everybody is a hypocrite, hope I can take your attention and help.

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  • I am definitely an over-thinker. I have always been told that. I either over analyze or think the worst will happen in situations. But, using drugs makes this worse. The drugs will have your brain believing things in a negative way. Once under the influence, it's hard to realize that the drug is doing this and what you perceive becomes your reality. Spice is a very difficult drug to quit because of the intense anxiety in withdrawal not to mention all of the physical aspects. It can be done, though. I fear ever touching this drug, or any drug for that matter, again. I fear that I wouldn't be able to stop, again, and will ultimately commit suicide. This site helped me to quit. Someone suggested just getting in your room and tough it out. After about 4 days it starts to get better. It was a good suggestion for me. It got better and I am now almost 4 months clean. It feels good to be reporting that.

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