I first smoked spice back in high school. I was a huge pot smoker back then but once I hit K2 it was game over. I smoked this stuff for four years, more and more through my early college years because I played baseball and the NCAA administers randomized drug test for pot and other mainstream drugs.
I could purchase a 3-gram bag right down the street from my apartment for about $40. It became a daily routine, to buy spice, get high, eat, then go about my day.
In a matter of months, I found myself buying a bag or two every morning, and if the smoke shop was closed, I was driving 45 minutes up to 2 hours just to get a fix.
Spice is very deceiving; its legal title is manipulating, and I was convinced this lifestyle was normal. I never once enjoyed the initial high of K2 through 4 years of heavy usage.
The high was always an endurance for me, but something about the rush of getting through the high kept me hooked on this deadly drug.
Without my fix, I was unable to eat, sleep, socialize, go to school or function properly at practice. Although I’ve always suffered from anxiety, I used to be very outgoing and ambitious with my God given talents.
Once spice took over my life I lost my friends, lost the trust of my family, and lost my scholarship. It’s astonishing I had still convinced myself I was ok during this unforgiving demise on K2. The drug caused very much pain and loss in my life.
My depression, anxiety had skyrocketed to the point, I would just isolate myself from everything and just smoke. I began buying, even more, spice.
Taking a hit every 15 minutes, I must have gone through a solid two years of going to sleep and waking up once every 15 minutes to take a quick hit.
If I ran out, I was crawling on my rug picking up tiny pieces of Spice that had fallen out of my pipe. When there was nothing left on my carpet, I would ransack my pipes.
Scavenging up black resin and even breaking pipes just to get a hits worth of tar. Rock bottom for me was after I took one hit of Diablo, a brand I had smoked all the time, and lost all ability to process thought into action or vocally communicate.
I just sat on my couch in a vegetative state for over a day until I was able to reach out to my sister crying my eyes out asking for help.
I soon learned the worst was far from over as the withdrawal from this stuff nearly drove me to commit suicide.
Aside from the loss of appetite, cold sweats, hot flashes, vomiting, and weight loss I was experiencing, my brain had taken the most damage from the addiction, because to this day I still suffer from the effects of spice.
I struggle just to maintain relationships with others and endure the gnarliest anxiety on a daily basis. Even with these issues, I’m incredibly thankful; I found the strength to reach out and quit.
Trust me, reaching out to stop helps boost motivation to utilize any available resource that offers help. I have now been clean for a little over two years, and the biggest help for me is taking sobriety one second at a time.
Worrying about how long you will be sober only sets you up to relapse. Take it one moment to the next and remind yourself you are not going to get high.
This is the most powerful and controlling substance I’ve ever come to know, and I hope nobody has to go through the pain I did.