I smoked Spice for four years. I spent all of my money and all of my time doing nothing but sitting and smoking.
My boyfriend and I at the time both did nothing but smoke. We worked together, so when we were both smoking and when we quit we had nothing left.
He had proposed to me and everything. We are now no longer together.
I didn’t realize the effect spice was having on me. I was angry and anxious when I couldn’t smoke. I could not eat or sleep with out it. The thought of food was nauseating. I would wake up every two hours and would have to smoke a bowl before I could fall back asleep.
I reached a point where functioning in everyday life became impossible. My boyfriend’s mom has known me forever, and she offered to come pick us up, take us back to her house in a different town several hours away and help us sober up.
I had a much harder time than my boyfriend. I did not sleep for exactly 8 days. Every time I would doze off, my body seemed to shock me awake. It was painful. I couldn’t eat and dropped to a very low weight. I lost about 25 lbs in one week. I was hot then cold then hot again. I would sweat so much I had to change my clothes and my hands were also always sweating.
After what felt like an eternity, I returned home without my boyfriend. He came and picked up his things and now still stays with his mom.
I relapsed about 2 months later and now have been clean for about 9 months.
I still dream about smoking spice. I still crave it and get rather sad when I know I can’t have it. I still have to push myself through those urges.
Though I think about spice a lot less than I used to. Sometimes I go a whole week with out it ever crossing my mind. It is still a battle I am fighting.
I was a very good kid growing up. I never even had my first drink until I was 20. I fell and fell far. Picking up the pieces and getting my life together is still a challenge, but I am getting back to my old self a little bit more each day.
I have been sticking with it, and the payoff is my life.