Hello, my name is Hector and I am from south Texas. I have been struggling with spice addiction for 6 years.
A little bit about my background: I am 28 years old, and a university grad with a business degree. I began smoking spice in late 2008 a “friend” who was on probation introduced it to me. At this time, I had been smoking the high grade marijuana for 6 years and due to my addictive personality I was curious to experience the “legal high.”
This was the WORST decision I ever made.
The high was so intense and powerful it was scary at first, but I was impressed with the length of time I would stay high. I used to smoke both high grade marijuana and just a few hits of spice to take me to that next level.
Then, because of my job (manager) at a large franchise restaurant, I told myself if they send me for a drug test I better get “clean” and quit the Hydro Marijuana. It was the easiest switch for me. Then I found a smoke shop and became good friends with the owner; he would sometimes hook me up with free packages.
This is how I began my downward spiral.
I needed to smoke spice just to do ordinary things: eat, sleep, work, relax, etc. I couldn’t function without it. I needed to smoke like every 30-45 min. I would get away to sneak a hit. I would do this anywhere I could. In the freezer at work; in the bathroom, storage closets, even in the office if I was closing up by myself. I would even make an excuse to step outside to take a hit or 2. I would say that I had to get my charger from my car, or I left something “important” that I needed to get. My employees even began speculating that I was “high” on something.
You have to remember, 5-6 years ago was when the 1st and 2nd gen. spice was around (stronger/potent). Even an employee told me I smelled like smoke. I knew it was getting bad, but I didn’t care cause I knew I could pass a drug test.
After work, I would smoke a blunt and drink a 24oz. on the way home. I would even smoke before I showered in the morning. I got so bad recently that even from a deep sleep I would be woken up and the craving to smoke was needed. I was a functioning Spice Zombie.
In the 6 years of spice abuse, I have wasted an estimated $40k-$45k. I lost my job as a manager for 5 years due to getting arrested. I was released and no charges filed but I missed work and got fired.
A little over a year and a half ago, I experienced a seizure and after that what I feel might have been a light stroke. I’m fortunate this happened at my mothers house and that my brother was there to help revive and call 911. The emergency responders very quickly determined that my seizure was caused by a controlled and now banned substance. This just made me quit for a few days.
Then, about 5 months ago, I had my first “psychotic” episode from this stuff my friend and I got from a house where they made spice. I scared my family cause my episode happened at 5am. Uncontrollable shaking and intense hallucination with violent roars as if I was singing in a death metal band.
My old friends have abandoned me, because every time I would hang out with them I would have to get away to smoke spice and none them smoked it. They would all tell me that it was killing me and I knew it, but couldn’t stop.
I didn’t notice that I would go days without any water, just alcohol and big red maybe a glass of milk but no water! Then one day my lower back was in such intense pain I could barely get ready for my job as a waiter. I was experiencing kidney/renal failure. It took me 2 days and about 2 gallons of water for the pain to go away.
I became so distant from my family and friends. I just wanted to smoke spice in private.
In the 6 years, I never made a valid attempt to quit until now. My entire family is in support of me getting better.
Today, I am on day 2 of sobriety.
The withdrawals are insane!
I haven’t slept in 43 hours because of stomach pain, nausea and vomiting and diarrhea along with extreme restlessness and uncontrollable chills and hot flashes with intense sweating.
This curse has possessed me and ruined my life. I know I have done irreversible damage to my health, both physical and mental anguish await.
If I could have gone back that day I was first introduced to spice, knowing what I know and my personal experiences, I would not have taken that first hit. This drug is a powerful monster that can only be beaten with the utmost of effort. This has been the hardest thing I have done (trying to quit spice).
I realized that all this time, I have strayed away from my spiritual and religious upbringing. I have found that meditation and prayer will result in spiritual healing.
I have to overcome this for my future and my family. I am so embarrassed and ashamed for the pain and worries I have brought forth on my family. The withdrawals are insane, but I know the good Lord will help me. He could’ve helped me if I had turned to him sooner.
My story is one I hope will impact others in a positive way. I doubt anyone that decided to smoke spice thought that negative consequences would be so evident and that the addiction would be that powerful.
If you are reading my story and you abuse spice, you need to take that first step of recovery and seek a strong support system. I would like to say I have won the battle of spice addiction and that I am free, but this is just day2 of sobriety.
God bless all, especially those suffering from addiction.
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